Directed by: Gina Prince-Bythewood
Written by:Gina Prince-Bythewood
Starring: Dakota Fanning, Queen Latifah, Jennifer Hudson, Alicia Keys, Sophie Okonedo, Paul Bettany
Released: March 5, 2009
Grade: B

I saw 220 movies last year. Did I want to see them all? The answer is obviously, no. We all have different tastes and I admit that there are some films that just don’t appeal to me. There’s also the fact that sometimes I’m just not in the mood. I’m often tired and/or distracted.

So why do I it? I don’t know really. What’s the term they use to describe people like me – obsessive compulsive? If a film has been released, I feel strangely compelled to see it. As my job is to be a film critic, I like to have an answer for people if they ask me about a certain film. If I were to skip an occasional movie, I’d feel a little incomplete.

I have now written two paragraphs about myself and zero paragraphs about The Secret Life Of Bees. If you’ve caught on, you’ll understand my reasoning. This is one of those movies that I was describing above. I sat in the movie theatre in a state of ambivalence. I was looking at my watch every ten minutes and had other things on my mind.

Now, this really isn’t fair to the filmmakers, is it? If I just sit here and talk about myself and say nothing about the movie. I should do the right thing and talk about the story and then throw in a few pieces of trivia that I found off the internet from a Google search. Then again, if I’m being true to myself… and the two people who will read this review, I should just admit that I couldn’t care less and move on.

I could then use my time to talk about something else. I could stick to movies and have a carefree chat about something topical like the Oscars or the ever increasing candy bar prices at Birch, Carroll & Coyle Cinemas. Maybe I could go completely off the wall. I could have a discussion about the meaning of life. I could even speculate about what awaits in the afterlife.

And let’s be honest. If I were to debate the merits of the major religions, you have to admit that it’d be more interesting that my standard review of The Secret Life Of Bees. A discussion about L. Ron Hubbard and the Church of Scientology would leave more of an impact that having me assess the acting performance of Dakota Fanning.

In turns out that I’m going to do nothing at all. I’ve reached my 400 word quota which means I no longer have to sit at my computer. I can post this up on my website, send it out with my Film Pie newsletter and then find something or someone to amuse me.

If you are interested in this film by the way, you’ll find heaps of information and other reviews on the interweb. Such is the wonder of technology. And to those people who "Googled" the movie and came up with this pathetic review, I sincerely apologise. Click search and try again.