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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 01 August 2012

Abraham Lincoln was the 16^th President of the United States.  Abraham Lincoln guided his country through the American Civil War.  Abraham Lincoln was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth while attending a play at Ford’s Theatre.  All of these are well known facts.  They can found through any simple internet search (if you didn’t already learn them at high school).

It’s about time that someone set the record straight though.  36-year-old author Seth Grahame-Smith has done his research and finally exposed the truth.  It turns out that Abe was actually a vampire hunter in his spare time.  His mother was actually killed by one of these blood-thirsty creatures and his motive was always one of revenge.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter deserves points for at least attempting to be different.  There seem to be so many vampire flicks churned out every year but this one has an element of creativity by taking historical characters and throwing them into this fantasy world.  Those familiar with American history will smirk at the interesting “spin” put on certain events (such as the Battle of Gettysburg).

For this reason, the film held my attention.  I was always curious to see where they’d take the story next.  On the downside, there isn’t enough humour.  Relative newcomer Benjamin Walker has been cast as Lincoln and is much too serious in the leading role.  If you’re going to use such a farcical storyline, you have to make people laugh!

The film’s biggest weakness is its action.  Russian born director Timur Bekmambetov (Night Watch, Wanted) has relied heavily on visual effects and we’re left with images that feel like they’re from a computer game.  They create no suspense and at times, you can’t even tell what’s going on.  Further, it seems nothing has been shot at a regular speed.  There’s slo-mo, then fast-mo, then slo-mo, then fast-mo, then slo-mo…

The idea has been floated but I’m not sure if Seth Grahame-Smith’s other popular novel will make it to the big screen.  I’m referring to Pride & Prejudice & Zombies.  It’d be great to see Colin Firth reprise his role as Mr Darcy… and then slaughter a small army of brain-dead, flesh-eating zombies.  We can only hope.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 21 July 2012

You only have to look at a movie poster for Magic Mike to see how this film will lure people into cinemas.  It features five good looking, half-naked men who are stripping on a stage and showing off their well-defined bodies.  One of those guys is Channing Tatum – a highly marketable commodity in Hollywood.  Women think he’s hot (physically).  Studio executives think he’s hot (metaphorically).

Tatum has already appeared in two movies in 2012 (21 Jump Street and The Vow) and both made more than $100m at the U.S. box-office.  Further, the release of the upcoming G.I. Joe: Retaliation has been pushed back by 9 months so that they can include more scenes with Tatum (who originally only had a small role).  It seems he can do no wrong!

Directed by the versatile Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, Ocean’s Eleven), Magic Mike is a tale of two halves.  The first hour feels like stripping, stripping and more stripping.  It takes place in a small club where ladies pay a cover charge and then throw more cash up on stage while they scream and salivate over the “entertainment”.

Dallas (McConaughey) runs the show and takes most of the profit but the star attraction is Magic Mike (Tatum).  He knows all the moves and women keep returning week after week to see him perform.  There are others in the troop but there’s not enough time to "flesh out" their characters in much detail.  This is a tale that revolves around Mike.

Well, that’s not entirely correct.  The story also spends time focusing a young guy named Adam (Pettyfer).  After bumping into Mike on the street, he his brought into the strip club and asked to help out with a few things backstage.  Suffice to say that it provides him with an eye-opening introduction to the world of a male stripper.

When a regular member of the company is unable to perform, Dallas gets desperate and decides to throw the reluctant Adam up on stage.  He puts on the worst display of stripping ever witnessed but the women love him anyway!  They scramble over each other in a mad dash to stuff $5 bills into his boxer shorts, clearly attracted by his shy personality and youthful good looks.  The kid is an instant hit.

The film enters a more serious, dramatic phase in the second hour.  Adam starts dabbling in drugs and it creates conflict between himself and Mike.  Not helping the situation is the fact that Mike has a “soft spot” for Adam’s sister, Brooke (Horn).

There’s also tension between Mike and Dallas.  Mike knows he’s in his thirties and that he can’t continue to be a stripper forever.  He’s looking to move into other entrepreneurial activities (such as his own home-made furniture business) but doesn’t have the financial capital to get started.  He’s after an equity share in the strip club – something that the self-driven Dallas is keen to avoid.

Magic Mike has received some extremely positive endorsements.  Through Twitter, acclaimed author Bret Easton Ellis called it the best U.S. film of the year.  I’m struggling to see where he’s coming from.

After its overly drawn out introduction (featuring far too much stripping), the movie rushes in its final stages.  Adam’s downfall isn’t covered in sufficient detail and nor are Mike’s plans for the future.  I also wasn’t convinced of the romance between Mike and Brooke.  They share a couple of nice scenes but I struggled to reconcile a few of their actions (without giving anything away).

Soderbergh has tried to bring an element of style to the film (evidenced by the final scene) but unfortunately, most of it feels cheesy and commercial.  The way in which Adam finds himself stripping on stage for the first time is a good example.  Given the subject matter, I couldn’t help but draw comparisons with Paul Thomas Anderson’s masterpiece Boogie Nights – a film that offered a better insight into its industry and had many more interesting characters.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 31 July 2012

Step Up 4: Miami Heat makes no sense. I mean NO SENSE.  That said, should we expect anything different from a dance movie?  We all know what’s going to happen anyway.  The only reason people watch movies within this formulaic genre is to enjoy the well-choreographed dance numbers.  On that note, this film delivers.

The story centres on a guy named Sean (Guzman) who is looking to take off his shirt at any opportunity.  Being the leader of a dance crew allows him to do just that.  The whole group yearns to break into the industry and their sights are set on a competition being hosted by Youtube.  Dance groups from around the world are uploading their best material and the first team to reach 10 million hits wins a $100,000 prize.

The whole idea didn’t seem to add up.  There’d be roughly 15 regular members in the group and when split, I don’t think $100,000 was going to take them very far.  They also appeared to be spending quite a lot to set up their elaborate dances (lights, cars, audio equipment, floating money).  Perhaps they needed an accountant on their crew.

In honour of their style of dance, they call themselves “The Mob”.  They show up in public places and put on an elaborate, well-rehearsed display.  The film opens with them stopping traffic on a busy street in downtown Miami and dancing on the rooftops of the trapped cars.  A camera guru films their work and they dash off before the police arrive.

These “flash mob” dances are easily the best part of the movie and thankfully, there are lots of them.  They're highlighted by a cool sequence inside an art gallery that makes great use of light.  It’s one of those rare moments where you can say the 3D effects substantially enhance the experience.  There’s another great scene in the bottom of an office building.

There needs to be some kind of conflict in the story and this comes in the form of a greedy property developer played by Peter Gallagher (who deserves better roles than this).  He wants to redevelop a prime piece of real estate by the ocean and in doing so, demolish the homes of the poor residents who have lived in the area for decades.

It’s at this point where the film’s message comes through loud and clear.  If you’re not happy with the government or a big, nasty corporation, you can change their opinions through the power of dance!  Yes, I am referring to “protest dancing”.  I’m guessing it’s a relatively new concept.  This crew turn up at important business meetings and put on a memorable, show-stopping dance number.  Their goal is to disrupt the approval for the development and bring media attention to the issue.

I should also mention that the Mr Greedy Property Developer has a daughter named Emily (McComick) who just so happens to be a dancer.  Guess what?  She’s fallen in love with Sean, has joined his group and is now secretly “protest dancing” against her own father.  Gasp!  Shock!  Horror!

Movies don’t get much trashier than this… and it was good fun.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 18 July 2012

The Dark Knight Rises comes with an almost unprecedented level of hype and expectation. The last film in the series grossed more than $1 billion at the international box-office and won an Oscar for the late Heath Ledger. Further solidifying his reputation as one of Hollywood’s best’s directors, Christopher Nolan followed up with the equally successful Inception – the best movie of the last three years (in my eyes anyway).

This final instalment in Nolan’s trilogy picks up the story exactly eight years after the conclusion of The Dark Knight. A small get-together is being held to honour the memory of district attorney Harvey Dent. Dent is remembered fondly by the citizens of Gotham City for the way in which he ruthlessly prosecuted the “bad guys” and kept them off the streets.

Only Bruce Wayne aka Batman (Bale) and Police Commissioner Gordon (Oldman) know the truth. Harvey Dent wasn’t a martyr. After being badly disfigured in an explosion, Dent had gone on a murderous rampage before Batman was finally able to stop him.

It was Batman who took the fall though. He realised that if the public knew the truth about Dent, it would destroy their faith in the officials and police officers who help maintain law and order. Batman sacrificed his reputation and is now seen as a villain – the man who killed the heroic Harvey Dent.

Depressed by the whole experience, Bruce Wayne hung up his Batman costume and has now lives the life of a recluse. He hobbles around his mansion using a cane, takes little interest in his multi-billion dollar company and no longer makes any public appearances. Not even his loyal butler (Caine) can convince Bruce to put the past behind him and start a new life.

Ah, but as the saying goes – every hero need a villain. It takes the arrival of a new evil mastermind to lure Batman back into the spotlight. A terrorist by the name of Bane (Hardy) has recruited a small army (not sure how) and has crafted a ridiculously intricate plan (not sure why) to destroy Gotham City. He is being assisted by the alluring Selina Kyle (Hathaway), a seductive cat burglar who can seemingly get her hands on anything.

It has received glowing reviews thus far but I was only mildly impressed with The Dark Knight Rises. One of the strengths of the earlier films was the way in which they explored the fine line between good and evil and the difficult choices we sometimes must make. I’ll never forget the prophetic line uttered by Harvey Dent – “you either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain”.

These thought-provoking concepts haven’t come through as strongly in The Dark Knight Rises. In terms of the villain, Bane’s motivation is to “liberate” the residents of Gotham City from the shackles of its overbearing government and police force. It’s an interesting concept (with relevance in today’s society) but it isn’t explored in much detail. We never really understand why so many are motivated to stand behind him.

It left me with the disappointing realisation that this story is too “black and white”. The closest we get to something more substantial is a heartfelt exchange between Christian Bale and Michael Caine midway through the film. It’s a shame there wasn’t more of this.

Instead, we’re left with action-packed scenarios, filled with plot holes, where people always seems to be the right place at the right time. This significant weakness gives the film an over-the-top “cartoonish” feel and detracts from what could have been a hugely suspenseful finale to the trilogy.

To its credit, the film offers a few nice surprises. Some of the twists create a connection with characters in past Batman films. Others leave the door open to future franchises. It’s also great to see the introduction of new, intriguing characters. The feisty Anne Hathaway (The Devil Wears Prada) is a breath of fresh air as Selina Kyle. The likeable Joseph Gordon-Levitt (500 Days Of Summer) makes an impression as a budding police officer (although he should probably be a clairvoyant).

As one of the best action directors in the business, Christopher Nolan has again created a series of fast-paced action sequences that will get the blood pumping. Despite the limitations within the screenplay, this film is still exciting to watch! Nolan pulls you into this fictitious world and you won’t even notice the visual effects – it all feels so real. The thunderous sound effects (it felt like my seat was vibrating at times) and bold film score from Hans Zimmer further add to the experience.

The Dark Knight Rises has a convoluted plot and struggles to justify its key themes but it’s still worth a look as an epic action flick. I’d be careful not to set your expectations too high.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 25 July 2012

One of the success stories of the year at the Australian box-office was The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.  It spent 14 weeks inside the top 20 and finished with a total take exceeding $21m.  You only see that kind of longevity from a film if it has very strong word of mouth.  The last movie to spend that much time in Aussie cinemas was Red Dog – released back in August 2011.

So it seems that everyone loved The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.  Well, everyone except me.  I struggled with the stereotypical characters and the way everything wrapped up so neatly at the end.  It felt like I was being smothered with happiness!  I prefer my feel-good moments in smaller doses.

Before you start doubting my credibility as a critic (as I do each day), allow me the chance to defend myself.  I only need to present one exhibit – the French film And If We All Lived Together.  It covers similar themes but does so in a more credible manner.

The story centres on 5 elderly people from 3 different households.  They realised that they’ve reached their “twilight” years but they’re struggling to work out how they will cope moving forward.  Albert (Richard) is showing the early signs of dementia.  Jeanne (Fonda) is battling cancer and has refused further treatment.  Claude (Rich) is worried about fulfilling his sex drive.  Annie (Chaplin) wishes her children and grandchildren would visit more often.  Jean (Bedos) has time on his hands but doesn’t know what to do with it.

When some are faced with the prospect of moving into an aged care facility, these 5 friends come up with different idea.  The title gives it away - they decide to move in together.  They can share the responsibilities of cooking and maintaining the house whilst also being there for each other and providing good conversation.

They are joined by a young college student, Dirk (Brühl), who wishes to monitor their activities as part of an ethnology thesis.  He is curious about whether their idea of living together may become an increasing trend, especially given France’s aging population.

This could have been a deep, depressing film but director Stéphane Robelin has kept things light… and it works.  Yes, there’s a dramatic undercurrent (some don’t have long to live) but there are plenty of light-hearted moments that push the film in a comedic direction.  Many of these revolve around the characters discussing their sex lives, both now and in the past, and are likely to leave you smiling.

You’ll grow to like the cast quite quickly and there’s one actor who adds a little star power – Jane Fonda.  The Academy Award winner (Klute) can speak fluent French but this is the first time she’s appeared in a French film since 1972.  She’s only made 4 movies over the past 20 years and it’s nice to see her on screen again.

I don’t think too much of the title (surely they could have come up with something more interesting) but if you’re keen on avoiding the plethora of Hollywood blockbusters that are currently screening, And If We All Lived Together should be just the ticket.