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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 14 March 2011

Let me throw a hypothetical question at you.  Imagine that you have a 16-year-old daughter who has landed the starring role in her high school’s senior play.  You go along to the opening night and you are stunned by just how bad it is.  You can see your daughter is trying her hardest but the storyline is awful and the dialogue is even worse.

When you see her backstage afterwards, what do you say?  Do you lie and say how much you loved the show and her performance?  Or do you be honest and find a polite way of expressing what you really think?

I feel like I’m in a similar position when trying to review A Heartbeat Away.  I really like seeing the Australian public support locally made films.  I know a few within the industry and even more trying to break into the industry.  It’s hard to get financiers to fund Australian features when they see a track record of failures at the box-office.  They’d rather invest in a romantic comedy starring Jennifer Lopez (and that horrible thought keeps me awake every night).

As much as I’d love to tell you to spend a few dollars checking out this film, I sadly cannot.  You are better off saving your time and waiting until a decent Aussie film comes along.  I’ll be sure to tell you when it does.  As Animal Kingdom proved last year, it is still possible for a local film to find success on the back of great reviews and strong word of mouth.

This cliché ridden tale is set in the fictitious town of Montague.  Those from Brisbane will recognise a few of the sights as much of the film was shot in Shorncliffe and Sandgate.  One shot during the opening credits as it’s just a few doors down from my grandmother’s house at Deagon.  If you get bored with the plot (and I suggest you will), you can at least play a game of “spot the landmark”.

The story centres on a marching band that is trying to win the regional championships for the first time in 20 years.  When the regular conductor is injured in an accident, his teenage son reluctantly steps in to help out.  His job will be made more difficult however as there’s a nasty property developer looking to sabotage their chances.  If they lose the competition, he’ll take title of their clubhouse and turn it into a multi-million dollar tourist resort.

At the preview screening I attended, the film did receive a nice round of applause as the credits started to roll.  This leads me to believe that there may be an audience for A Heartbeat Away.  I’m describing it as being like the pilot for a cheesy 90s sitcom that no television network wanted to buy.  As unappetising as that may sound, it could be the perfect dish for those who like a feel-good, innocent drama.

Then again, perhaps the round of applause was because several of the audience members had a small part in the film?  Let’s give it the benefit of the doubt.  This film will need all the help it can get.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 01 March 2011

Hall Pass is bat shit crazy.  That’s the first thought that came to mind as the end credit started to roll.  There are a handful of scenes that are guaranteed to generate a reaction from the audience.  As to the kind of reaction… well, let’s just say this isn’t a film I’d be taking my grandmother to see.  I don’t think she’d appreciate the full frontal nudity and the human excrement.  Just a hunch.

I should have expected nothing less from the Farrelly brothers.  These are two guys who love to push the envelope when it comes to gross out comedy.  They wrote the scripts for such films as Dumb & Dumber, There’s Something About Mary and Shallow Hal.  Just when you think you’ve seen it all, they manage to stun you with something new.  Hall Pass will only solidify their reputation.

There are parts of this film that I will describe as “disgustingly entertaining”.  They left me sitting in my seat thinking “I can’t believe they just did that”.  There’s one scene involving a bathtub that will be a talking point.  If you like this kind of stuff, it’ll leave more of an impact than your standard comedy.

As for the storyline, it’s about two obnoxious guys who have been given a week off marriage by their wives.  They immediately think they can go out and seduce any girl they want but they soon realise that they’re horribly out of form.  Their approach is dreadful and their pick up lines are even worse.

It’s a wafer-thin premise but the film’s real problems revolve around its characters.  They’re all such schmucks.  There’s Something About Mary was a similarly styled comedy but it worked because you liked Ben Stiller.  He was cute.  You wanted to see him overcome his silly problems and get the girl in the end.  I can’t say the same here.  I hated Owen Wilson.  I really hated Jason Sudeikis.  No help is offered from the supporting cast either.  What’s with the babysitter?  What’s with the slimy baseball coach?  What’s with the budding DJ?

I enjoyed Hall Pass for its pure shock value but sadly, it’s lacking in a lot of other important areas.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 09 March 2011

During the opening credits of The Rite, we are told that this story is “inspired by actual events”.  These words resulted in laughter at tonight’s preview screening.  We’ve seen the poster and we’ve seen the trailer.  It’s a little hard to believe that there’s much truth in this movie.  Call me a realist.  Call me a sceptic.  Just don’t call me an exorcist.

The central figure in this snooze-fest is a young trainee priest named Michael Kovak (O’Donoghue).  He originally entered the seminary to avoid following in his father’s footsteps as a mortician.  After four years of study and on the verge of becoming a full-time priest, he finds himself with cold feet.  Is this really something he wants to do for the rest of his life?

In an attempt to keep him within the priesthood, his superior sends him to the Vatican for two months as part of "exorcism school".  The pupils sit in their lecture theatre and take notes while the teacher flips through a slideshow presentation show how to identify demonic people.  I don’t remember this subject being offered while I was at university.

Michael doesn’t believe in any of it and so he is told to spend time with one of the world’s most experienced exorcists, Father Lucas (Hopkins).  Lo and behold, Michael starts coming around.  There seems to be no other explanation for the crazy stuff he is now witnessing.

I am tired of exorcist movies.  They’ve been done to death (literally in some cases).  They all follow the same premise in that there’s a doubter who eventually realises this stuff is real.  Unless you can find some way to spice up the movie (through strong performances or an original plot twist), it’s going to be very hard to keep an audiences’ attention.

Clearly, no one got my memo.  The filmmakers have gone with a stock-standard mould that offers nothing new.  If there was a surprise… it was just how boring these characters were.  Colin O’Donoghue trudges around with an expressionless face.  Anthony Hopkins looks even more disinterested than he did in last year’s The Wolfman.  There are a range of subplots involving some familiar names (Rutger Hauer, Ciaran Hinds, Alice Braga) but none are sufficiently developed.

If my review inspires you to give this film a miss, then congratulations.  You’ve done “the rite” thing.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 27 February 2011

I caught Wasted On The Young as part of a huge day at the Brisbane International Film Festival back in November 2010.  In my notes, I said that “I hope this gets a chance at a cinema release”.  My rationale was twofold.  Firstly, I thought it was a good film.  Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I was curious to see what mainstream audiences would think of it.

The story revolves around a high school party which goes horribly wrong.  A girl named Xandrie (Clemens) has her drink spiked by a group of teenagers out to cause mischief.  As the effects of the drug sink in, Xandrie loses control.  She is lured into the basement by members of the popular swimming team who then take advantage of her.  At the end of the night, they dump her unconscious body at the nearby beach.

The perpetrator of this crime is Zack (Russell), captain of the swim team and one of the most popular guys at school.  I really hated this guy… and that is a big positive for the film.  He’s an arrogant “prick”.  He’s the kind of person who can manipulate others and will always get his own way.

Someone is looking to bring him down however.  His step-brother, Darren (Ackland), has always a crush on Xandrie and is sickened by what happened to her at the party.  He knows what happened too.  Darren doesn’t go to the authorities though.  He has his own ideas and wants to use them to shatter Zack’s squeaky clean image.

An interesting observation about Wasted On The Young is that it doesn’t feature a single adult throughout the entire movie.  We don’t see the school headmaster and what he has to say.  We don’t see these kids’ parents and their reactions.  We don’t see the police and their own investigations.  I admire the director’s attempt to distinguish the film in this way but the lack of adults is a slight distraction.  You can’t help but think – shouldn’t someone be stepping in and stopping this madness?

That said, the film is still a very topical one.  It touches on the way high school kids can attack each other through text messaging and social network sites.  Once upon a time, you got back at someone by getting into a physical fight.  Now, it seems you can just as easily attack through online means.  A person’s reputation can be destroyed in an instant.  It’s scary stuff.

I’m not convinced that there’s a clear message but this is still a film worth your attention.  The editing is sharp and the cinematography is striking.  This is a distinctive first feature from director Ben C. Lucas.  It may have been shot on a tight budget (like most locally made films) but you can’t tell from the impressive imagery that you’ll see on screen.

I'm curious to how mainstream audiences react to the ending.  Will it leave them with a bad taste in their mouth?  Or will it provoke a warranted discussion?  The only way to find out what I'm talking about is to see this new Australian movie for yourself.

You can read my interview with star Oliver Ackland by clicking here.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 06 March 2011

We see plenty of animated films made every year and to its credit, Rango is trying to distinguish itself from the pack.  You can see there has been a concerted effort from the writers to satisfy all types of audiences.  Kids will enjoy the cute little chameleon and his strange sensibilities.  Adults are likely to see it as a homage to westerns and may chuckle at a few other cinematic references.  The benefit for everyone is that it’s been shot in 2D!  You don’t need to worry about being overcharged for unnecessary 3D effects.

The story begins with our soon-to-be hero (voiced by Johnny Depp) living a solitary existence as pet.  He dreams of adventure but it appears he will be forever stuck inside his terrarium.  That changes when he thrown out of a car window during an accident and he now winds up beside a major highway in the middle of the desert.

Gifted the opportunity of freedom and adventure, he is suddenly feeling quite anxious about the situation.  He’s hot, he’s thirsty and he doesn’t know where to go.  It gets even worse when he becomes the lunch target of a hungry hawk.

With a little skill and a lot of luck, he manages to escape its claws and ends up in the small town of Dirt.  It’s filled with an assortment of creatures – iguanas, toads, possums, moles and armadillos.  Time has forgotten this place.  It looks like something out of the 19^th century with its dirty saloon, gun slinging cowboys and domineering mayor.  The town is struggling however.  The water supply is low and many land owners have given up and moved elsewhere.

Some chameleons have the ability to change colour but it appears this one also has the ability to change personality.  He walks straight into the bar, looking to make a strong first impression.  He does just that.  After downing a glass of “cactus juice”, he takes on the new name of Rango and stands up against a repulsive gila monster known as Bad Bill.  Before the day is over, he will be the town’s new sheriff.

With the stage now set, the film’s focus turns the strange circumstances surrounding the dwindling water supply.  Rango assembles a team and they go in search of answers.  Many will be trying to stop them however.  Heading the list is a sinister rattlesnake with an ulterior motive.

The general vibe from other critics I’ve spoken to has been positive but I wasn’t a fan of Rango.  Perhaps my expectations were misaligned.  I smiled at a few of the adult references (like the Fear & Loathing In Vas Vegas tribute) but had trouble envisioning the film’s appeal to younger audiences.  The storyline involving the water supply isn’t told clearly enough.  I also noticed a distinct lack of kids’ laughter at the preview screening I attended.

My biggest criticism is that these strange looking characters are hard to love.  They didn’t generate the excitement and enthusiasm that I was hoping for.  This seems even more obvious when I reflect back on some of last year’s great animations - Toy Story 3 and How To Train Your Dragon.  Rango is missing a key emotional ingredient.