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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 09 January 2005

Ladder 49 isn’t a bad film but I get the feeling it’s more a tribute to firefighters than a full-fledged motion picture.  It all begins with firefighter Jack  (Phoenix) helping rescue a man trapped on the 12^th floor of a burning office building.  The man escapes but the floor collapses on Jack and he falls several floors into an area surrounded by fire and debris.

As the other members of Ladder 49 attempt to rescue him, we see Jack’s life as a firefighter retold through a series of flashbacks.  We see how he first came to join the team and meet his boss and good friend  (Travolta).  We see how he met his wife and the arguments fought over Jack’s dangerous line of work.  We see how bravely he battled other fires and rescued others in life-threatening situations.

I had a fun bet with my cousin about how Ladder 49 would end.  We analysed the film’s trailer and both came to a different conclusion about the fate of Phoenix and Travolta.  I will not divulge this ending but was surprised to find I was wrong in my initial presumption.  A few other audience members were as well.  It all didn’t help me though as I now owe my cousin an expensive dinner.

Joaquin Phoenix is the star of the film and gives a good performance.  John Travolta has equally billing on all the posters and advertisement but is largely in the background.  The majority of the firefighting scenes are suspenseful and well shot by director  .  My qualm came with all the background storylines and subplots.  Jack’s relationship with his wife   is shown but seems clichéd and glossed up.  Jack’s friendship with the other fighters is touched upon but not explored far enough.

When you look back on it, the film’s more like an episode of This Is Your Life.  A series of life highlights which were often unconnected.  This hurt the film emotionally and I wasn’t moved by the gripping conclusion.  I applaud firefighters and their awesome work but this movie doesn’t give their valuable service true justice.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 27 December 2004

Chicago was my favourite film of 2003 and I loved the way in which director Rob Marshall weaved the story amongst the famous music.  Director Joel Schumacher has not managed to do the same with The Phantom Of The Opera.  It plays out too much like an opera and you almost wish you were in a live theatre to experience it.

For those not familiar with the tale, Christine (played by Emmy Rossum) was orphaned as a youngster and grew up in the dormitories of the Paris Opera House.  Yearning to become a star of the stage, she has been secretly coached for many years by a mysterious “Phantom” (Gerard Butler) who lives deep underneath the famed Opera House.

When her chance finally arrives, Christine wows the audience with a brilliant performance.  It attracts the attention of her childhood sweetheart, Raoul (Wilson), and the two quickly fall in love.  This displeases The Phantom who wants Christine all to himself.  He will not give her up without a fight… 

This marks the first time that Andrew Lloyd Webber’s renowned opera has been brought to the silver screen.  Webber worked with Schumacher is crafting the film’s screenplay.  The sets are beautifully lavish but after the first half-hour, I tired quickly of the whole affair.  Each to their own but I felt it lacked romance and emotion.  The later songs were a bore.

The biggest qualm I had with the whole affair was the obvious lip-syncing.  I understand that you have to lip-sync in a motion picture (due to editing) but the final cut looked unnatural.  At times, the singer’s lips were hardly moving and yet the volume was inexplicably loud.  Say what you will but this annoyed the hell out of me.

There aren’t many big names in the cast but some will recognise Minnie Driver and Miranda Richardson.  I can’t say that any stood out was being impressive.  Although I’ll admit that Emmy Rossum (as Christine) has a beautiful voice.

Tip as an early Oscar frontrunner, The Phantom Of The Opera is fading away as other more worthy challengers are stepping up to the plate.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 09 January 2005

Well I’ve seen it.

I didn’t really want to.

As much as I love movies, I could think of better things to do than to see a film about a sponge which is targeted at 8 year olds.

Just buying a ticket is embarrassing enough.

I was paranoid about buying a ticket on my own.

I’d have to get there super early, find a seat in the back row and hope no one would see me.

Thankfully, my sister was bored and agreed to come with me.

What a huge relief that was.

I could avoid the strange glance from the ticket operator on seeing a grown man ask for “one” to a baby flick.

We couldn’t sit in the back row but we managed to find some side seats to avoid suspicion.

The film was a complete bore.

Watching a 25 minute cartoon on Nickelodeon is one thing but trying to watch an 85 minute movie on the same subject is another thing.

With my short attention span, I was looking at my watch after 30 minutes.

The kiddies didn’t look to be having much fun either.

They didn’t even seem to laugh at the burp jokes.

I admit to having fun trying to pick the voices but that’s as far as I got.

I didn’t even hang around for the closing credits (to see if I was right) as I simply wanted to get out of their ASAP.

My sister felt the same way.

At least it is now done.

I will see 200 odd films in 2005 and as forgettable as it is, I can tell people that I have shown an “open mind” and seen The Spongebob Squarepants Movie.

There is no need for you to.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 26 December 2004

Fifteen years ago, Mr. Incredible was the best superhero in the business.  The world was always in jeopardy and his services were always required.  Incredible jokingly compared his work saving the world to that of a maid – “I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes!"

Then came the day when Mr. Incredible saved the wrong person.  A man jumped off a high-rise building and Incredible was there to rescue him.  Unfortunately, this man wanted to commit suicide and on behing rescued, promptly launched a lawsuit against Mr. Incredible.  This sparked a wave of legal action against other superheros of the world.  Soon enough, they were no more.  They had no choice but to cease their superhero activities and blend in with everyone else.

Mr. Incredible, under the name Bob Parr, now works in insurance.  He’s packed on a few kilos, hates his job and yearns to save the world again.  He’s married to another ex-superhero, Elastigirl, who takes care of their three children in their simple suburban home.  The only part of his week Bob looks forward to is Wednesday night – it’s when he sneaks out with friend Frozone to relive his glory days and to rescue a few people.

Sacked by the insurance company for being too soft, Bob is approached by a mysterious lady who knows his real identity.  She represents an unknown employer who wishes to use Mr. Incredible’s services in a top-secret project on a top-secret island.  It’s a dream come true for Incredible (who likes working alone) but it’ll soon lead to a life threatening situation where it’s he who needs to be saved…

Full marks to the great animated team behind The Incredibles.  The film begins with a humorous  interview of the superheros and it’s only the start of what is a very enjoyable motion picture.  Many films make the claim but not since the original Shrek have I seen a film which appeals equally to kids and adults.  The children in my cinema seemed entranced and I’m not surprised given the fantastic action scenes.  Speaking for the adults, there’s some great material including the arguments between Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl.

Writer-director Brad Bird is no stranger to great animation.  He directed the well-reviewed The Iron Giant in 1999 and many early episodes of The Simpsons.  He’s even helped as a consultant on King Of The Hill and The Critic.  I’ve never met Bird but if his previous works are anything to go by, he must have a great sense of humour.

The Incredibles is the best animated film of the year for sure.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 27 December 2004

Meet The Fockers is the 19^th sequel to be released in Australia this year.  That’s the equivalent of one every three weeks.  Are we that short of ideas?  The problem with so many of these sequels is that they are boringly similar to the original.  Instead of breaking new ground, studios take the safe road in search of commercial success.  Well congratulations to shareholders in Universal and Dreamworks because the huge Christmas Day box-office in the States guarantees you a healthy return.

In Meet The Parents, Greg (Stiller) finally won over father-in-law Jack (DeNiro) and mother-in-law Dina (Danner).  Now the time has come for them to meet Greg’s parents.  This is important to Jack because he’s at a time in his life when he wants a “legacy”.  He only wants his daughter Pam (Polo) and her parents-in-law have to live up to his expectations.  Speaking to Greg about the union of the two families, Jack bluntly puts it to Greg - “I don’t want a chink in my chain”.

Greg’s parents are Bernie (Hoffman) and Roz (Streisand) and they will come as a huge shock to Jack.  Bernie is a house-dad and Roz works as a sex therapist for the elderly.  They are also very open about their relationship and love life.  Jack is horrified and as the weekend continues, he starts to have second thoughts about the Focker family.

If you remember from the first film, Greg’s surname is Focker.  They use this joke about 80 times in Meet The Fockers and I could not believe how often the audience laughed.  In all honesty, about 90% of the laugher in my cinema came from this single word.  Does that say enough?  The only other time I’ve seen a joke repeated so often would be amongst very drunken friends.

It’s amusing for a while but overstays its welcome with yet another far-fetched ending.  I am using this criticism for so many films of late and don’t ask me why.  There’s a scene involving a needle and some serum which starts the movie’s slide.  Half an hour later, I just wanted to get out of there.