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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 12 June 2003

American Pie proved that Seann William Scott is a funny guy and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon showed that Chow Yun-Fat is martial arts guru.  Yet when you bring this unlikely combination together for a funny, martial arts flick, you get a very, very, very boring result.

In Tibet 1943, an unnamed monk (Yun-Fat) earned the responsibility of guarding a sacred scroll.  Anyone who read the words of the scroll would be blessed with incredible powers and therefore it had to be closely guarded to protect it from evil hands.  When a group of Nazis attacked the monestary where the scroll was kept, the monk was forced to flee to evade capture.

Sixty years later, his travels have taken him to America.  He is tired and understands it is time to hand down the responsibility of the scroll to someone else.  Given guidance from the gods to help find this “chosen one”, he comes across Kar (Scott) – a petty thief who lives and works in a movie theatre specialising in Chinese cinema.  Kar thinks the monk and his philosophical sayings are crazy but the two become a united team when each other’s lives are threatened.  A Nazi from the past is still looking for the scroll and is stopping at nothing to obtain it.

Judging from the audience’s half-hearted laughs, I wasn’t alone in declaring Bulletproof Monk a waste of space and time.  The screenplay is ridiculously far-fetched and the two leading stars have no chance to showcase their humour.  Scott tries a more sarcastic, laidback persona which doesn’t suit the childish material.  Yun-Fat simply doesn’t belong here.  Even worse are the Nazi officer and his granddaughter.  Somebody needs to show director Paul Hunter a book of overused stereotypes to help him out.

The title suggests very little and on that scale, Bulletproof Monk delivers with precision.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 01 June 2003

Six men went on a routine army training mission in Panama and only two have returned.  In charge was the demanding drill sergeant Nathan West (Jackson) but he too is missing.  Of the two survivors, Levi (Ribisi) is in the hospital with gunshot wounds and Dunbar (Holt) sits silent in the interrogation room.  Lt. Julia Osborne can’t get a word from Dunbar and untrusting of all, Dunbar says he’ll only speak to a fellow “ranger”.  With an urgent explanation needed before going public, base leader Col. Bill Styles (Daly) calls on an old friend to help out.

Styles once trained in the army with ranger Tom Hardy (Travolta) and although they haven’t seen each other for years, they happened to run into each other in a car park a few days ago.  Styles calls Hardy and asks a favour – to “unofficially” interrogate Dunbar and Levi to get solve the deepening mystery.  Both Dunbar and Levi both acknowledge that the rest of their party has been killed but they have significantly differing versions of how it happened.

Few movie thrillers are ever an open and shut case.  That would just be boring wouldn’t it?  Screenwriters are obsessed with creating twists, surprises, shocks, bombshells or whatever else you want to call them.  Here’s another example of a film which goes one step too far.  Too many twists have spoiled the broth and it culminates with a ludicrous final scene.  Sure it might seem to wrap up nicely but put some thought into the realism of this scene and what might actually happen if the film were to continue.

Another annoying cliché that features far too often in Basic is that of the unexpected revelation.  Every time Tom and Julia appear to have reached a dead end, one of them suddenly puts a piece of the puzzle together so that the adventure can continue.  This repeatedly happens and Tom and Julia make sure to share these revelations together so they can develop trust and appreciation in each other’s knowledge.  I wonder if real-life detectives and private investigators watch movies like this and just laugh.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 09 June 2003

The Fast And The Furious was one of the success stories of 2001 when on a budget of $38 million, it grossed $41 million in its first three days before finishing with a juicy total of $144m.  Blessed with a bigger budget, only Paul Walker returned for the sequel with Vin Diesel turning down the lucrative pay cheque and the studio appointing a new director in John Singleton (Boyz N The Hood).

In the creatively named 2 Fast 2 Furious, Brian O’Connor is now on the other side of the tracks.  He once worked for the LAPD but after letting his man get away (at the end of the first film) he was kicked off the force.  Devoted to drag racing, he’s still the best guy on the street and his reputation is a good as ever.  However when the police bust an illegal race, O’Connor is arrested and faces time in the slammer unless he cooperates with the cops.

They’ll wipe his record clean if he’ll help them bring down a drug lord named Carter Verone (Hauser) who also has a love for fast cars.  An undercover agent (Clemente) is already posing as Carter’s mistress but she’s going to need help to bring down this powerful leader.  Brian will only do the job if he can choose his own partner and with a moral debt to repay, he asks past friend Roman Pearce (Tyrese) to be that man.  All is in place and the games are about to begin…

Surprisingly, the narrative holds up and despite the predictability of it all, I enjoyed the story.  It shares many similarities with the original but the new cast keep it interesting.  It isn’t as humorous but the action sequences are on par, if not better, than the 2001 release.  For director John Singleton, it’s his first true crack at the action genre and I had criticisms but was satisfied with the overall picture.  The two men who deserve the most praise are editors Bruce Cannon (Poetic Justice) and Dallas Puett (Tomb Raider) who have sliced hours of footage with ultimate precision.  They have crafted visually dynamic car chase sequences which will get that heart pumping.

The obligatory sequel is now behind us and once again, it has been a profit making vehicle for Universal Pictures.  Nothing is in writing yet but to satisfy the public’s growing need for speed, I’d be betting on another follow up… with another creative title.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 29 May 2003

Young Lee Holloway (Gyllenhaal) has just been released from a mental institution and back into the waiting arms of her parents.  It was Lee’s fetish for pain that had her institutionalised – she used special blades to cut deep incisions into her body and let them heel before repeating the process.  With the help of her mother, she takes a typing course to boost her chances of employment.  A wise move it seems as she’s successful at her very first interview.

E. Edward Grey (Spader) is a small time solicitor looking for a new secretary.  Impressed by the intent look in her eyes, Mr Grey has chosen Lee to fulfil the role.  I’d say the two develop an attraction but to use such simple English does not give the story justice.  After Lee botches a typing job, Mr Grey bends her over his desk and gives her a savage spanking.  Strange as it may seem, both get an overwhelmingly erotic satisfaction from the experience but neither is willing to admit it.  Thus, this already complicated relationship is made even more complicated by their inability to give into their inner fetishes and desires.

25-year-old Maggie Gyllenhaal (Donnie Darko, Adaptation) tackles the leading role with unrelenting passion.  Lee at first seems a troubled character but in watching her grow, we understand her little nuances and appreciate her innocence.  Gyllenhaal has taken on a daring role that most Hollywood starlets wouldn’t even consider.  Can you imagine a Julia Roberts or a Sandra Bullock in this part?  For her decision, Gyllenhaal has been honoured with a string of newcomer awards and despite missing out on an Oscar nomination (shame on you Academy), she picked up valuable exposure with nomination at the Golden Globes.

James Spader is another great actor who has jumped at this unusual opportunity.  You’re not sure how to react to some of his actions but I guarantee you’ll find yourself laughing one unexpected event that takes place on his office desk.  Disappointing was the appearance of Jeremy Davies as a side love interest to Lee.  After a career changing performance in Saving Private Ryan, Davies has been typecast as a softly spoken “creepy guy” in films such as The Million Dollar Hotel and Solaris.

Secretary is constantly off-balance and little can be predicted with any real certainty.  That’s how I like most of my movies and if you subscribe to a similar theory, here’s one for you.  Assume the position (in the theatre I mean).

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 05 June 2003

17-year-old Igby Slocumb (Culkin) is a gifted child in a troubled family.  His father (Pullman) had a nervous breakdown when Igby was just 10 and now lives free from the pressures of family and work in a mental institution.  His mother Mimi (Sarandon) is obsessed with appearances and combined with her addiction to pills, she keeps a very tight reign over the family’s activities.  Igby’s older brother Oliver (Phillippe) graduated with honours from high school and is now the pride of the family with a prestigious college position.  Supporting them all is D.H. (Goldblum), Igby’s godfather and a very powerful property developer who uses his money to control all who surround him.

Igby sees through the charade by which his family lives but his youth and inexperience keep him trapped.  He wants to escape, leave this mess behind and create his own life but his tied to his family both financially and emotionally.  Forced to attend military school by his oppressive mother, Igby sees a window of opportunity when D.H. offers him a job in New York over the summer.  The rebellious Igby decides not to return to school and hides from his family by bunking in a swanky apartment with “a dancer who doesn’t dance” and a “painter who doesn’t paint”.  He also falls in love with an lively girl named Sookie (Danes) and Igby has his first real sense of independence.

Soon though, the familiar walls start closing in on Igby.  His jealous brother starts courting Sookie to deliberately get back at him.  His mother sends word she is terminally ill and wants to take her own life.  His flatmate, Rachel (Peet), is seeing her life ruined by a growing drug addiction.  His own bank account has dwindled and with the novelty of his holiday wearing thin, thoughts of an uncertain future cloud his thoughts.

With much to tell, writer/director Burr Steers has created an honestly brutal look at the troubles of upper-class society.  Like a good black comedy, you’ll find yourself laughing at the self-indulgence of these characters whilst feeling sorry for their unfortunate position at the same time.  As Igby, the subdued Kieran Culkin (younger brother of Macaulay) speaks with sarcastic elegance.  It’s a breakthrough role that brought back memories of the underappreciated Thora Birch in Ghost World.

The power of Jeff Goldblum’s character was the most intriguing part of Igby Goes Down but Claire Danes, Amanda Peet and Ryan Phillippe all play absorbing characters with unspoken agendas.  They aren’t one-dimensional nor do they blatantly preach obvious messages (like so many films these days).  Their actions and emotions are open to considerable interpretation and you will need to draw conclusions based on your own personal experiences.

The characters are the focus but Steers provides plenty more to enjoy.  The scenes intertwined with the opening credits set up the film’s off-beat tone.  The background settings are idyllic and bring realism to the foreground with dashes of comedy thrown in.  The ever changing film score is again proof that there’s a variable mix of both tears and laughs.

Igby Goes Down can be described as a hilarious parody of the self-absorbed or a troubling look at society in general.  Igby may go down, but here’s a film that should be going straight to the top of any must-see list.