Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 25 October 2001

Nathan’s perfect life is about to come in collide with Patrick Koster (Bean).  Ten years ago, Koster was shafted following a bank robbery he orchestrated when a partner ran off with a million dollar ruby.  After being tracked down, he threw himself in front of a moving subway train when he wouldn’t reveal the location of the ruby but police witnessed to the act and Koster was put away.

Now, having just been released, Koster knows there’s only one person who knows where the ruby is.  That person is 18-year-old Elizabeth Burrows (Murphy), the daughter of Koster’s victim, but she’s been in a mental hospital for some time having failed to come to grips with her father’s murder.  Dr Nathan Conrad has been asked by a good friend to take a look at Elizabeth and see if she can be helped.

Nathan is not the only one concerned about her well-being.  Koster kidnaps Nathan’s daughter and is going to use her as leverage.  He tells Nathan that inside Elizabeth’s mind is a 6-digit number that will reveal the location of the ruby and unless he can get her to open up by 5pm, his daughter will be killed.  Nathan fiercely protests the lack of time but as reality sets in, he knows the clock is ticking and he’ll have to call on all his skill and nerve to find the answers.

Don't Say A Word applies traditional Hollywood formulas with little deviation.  The sterile characters and setting make the film a dull bore.  The lack of suspense also sucks the film into an unemotional void.  Michael Douglas is just going through the motions as the screenwriters have given him little to work with.  It’s all silly nonsense really and once you find out what the 6-digit number is for, you’ll give a quiet chuckle.

Unlike the film’s title, I won’t keep my opinions suppressed and have no qualms in writing off a most overrated production.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 18 October 2001

16-year-old Ruby (Sobieski) is out partying with her girlfriends and returns home late to find two police officers waiting for her.  She begins her defence by stoutly apologising for sneaking out but the police are there for other reasons.  Out celebrating their wedding anniversary, both her parents were killed in a car accident.

The shock subsides and reality sets in for both Ruby and her 11-year-old brother Rhett (Morgan).  At the funeral, their parents’ financial advisor, Mr. Begleiter (Dern), introduces himself and informs Ruby of their future.  Their parents have left some $4m in trust for them but until entitled, both have been placed into the custody of Terry and Erin Glass (Skarsgard and Lane).  The Glass’s were once next-door neighbours and best friends of the family but have hardly been seen since they moved to Malibu.

Questioning her parents’ wishes to have them stay with Terry and Erin, Ruby is unsettled by her new surroundings.  Rhett is blinded by the fancy house and expensive toys but Ruby senses it’s disguising something sinister.  Why are Terry and Erin fighting?  Why was Erin caught injecting herself with a needle?  Why is Terry getting calls at 3am in the morning?  Why are she and Rhett being watched so closely?

With ten years of experience on the small screen, director Daniel Sackheim makes his motion picture debut with The Glass House and he’s worth following.  Most of the film is set at a lavish mountain-top house made mostly of glass.  Throw in a little rain and you’ve got an eerily creepy locale that’s perfectly exploited by Sackheim.  Composer Christopher Young adds tension to the mix with another of his renowned musical scores.

Leelee Sobieski (Deep Impact) plays the leading role with restrained intelligence.  She acts as anyone would in the same situation which plays favourably with the audience.  Youngster Trevor Morgan is also notable in an emotional performance.  The 14-year-old is finding sudden notoriety in the film industry with roles in Jurassic Park 3, The Patriot and The Sixth Sense.  He’s one to watch.

The Glass House suffers in its ability to find a conclusion.  After being extremely well developed, it reaches a point where it becomes too crazy to consider and the ending is justifiable proof.  Whilst I won’t offer my own alternate suggestions, a more logical conclusion would have maintained the heightened suspense.  Without breaking new ground, The Glass House has an added freshness that hopefully won’t go stale.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 25 October 2001

A group of police officers led by Helena (Grier) and Melanie (Ballad) are on route via train to pick up a prisoner from an outer community on the Martian planet.  The prisoner is James “Desolation” Williams (Cube) and with a history of grizzly murders, he’s got everyone security conscious.

When they get to the mining town where he is being held in lockup, all is quiet.  There’s not a single resident on the streets and something is definitely amiss.  A check of the local hangouts reveals a gruesome discovery.  People are found strung by their feet from the ceiling with their heads severed.  Charming.

No survivors are found until the prisoners themselves are discovered untouched in the police station’s basement.  None are aware of the carnage upstairs.  There is one person however who’s in the lock-up by choice.  Dr. Whitlock (Cassidy) is from a nearby town and has seen what is responsible for the massacre.  In a mining accident, a mysterious germ was unearthed that turned all who came in contact with it into savages.  Now, the virus has started to spread and looks set to take over the planet...

There’s nothing I can say that acutely describes the mental anguish that audience members will suffer.  The film may have been made by horror “specialist” John Carpenter but his direction brought back painful memories ala Battlefield Earth.  Note for attention - lots of loud explosions that have been poorly edited look really, really stupid.  Let me not forget the pathetic action, sick violence and overuse of fake blood.

The actors aren’t escaping my wrath either.  All are destined to spend the rest of their lives starring in B-grade telemovies as studios wouldn’t dare offer them another decent role having seen Ghosts of Mars on their resume.  One of the drawcards, Pam Grier, is killed in the opening half-hour.  Rising star Clea DuVall says about three sentences in the whole film.  Natasha Henstridge has most attention but it’s clear she’s in the film just to please the male audience.  As for Ice Cube, need I say anything?

I’ve already wasted an hour and a half trying to look away from the screen and frankly, I don’t want any part of the rest of my life associated with Ghosts Of Mars.  With that said, I’m out of here.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 18 October 2001

The “story” revolves around Professor Oldman (Curry) assembling a group of students to stay in a haunted house.  I won’t say any more for fear of giving the impression that the film has a plot.

Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans and Anna Faris return from the original and are joined by a few newcomers and few Hollywood veterans.  James Woods opens the film with a take-off of The Exorcist.  Marlon Brando was originally cast in the role but when taken ill, Woods filled his shoes.  A stroke of luck for Mr. Brando I’m sure.

A sampling of this films spoofed are Dude, Where’s My Car?, Save The Last Dance, What Lies Beneath, Hollow Man, Titanic, Romeo & Juliet, Hannibal, Charlie’s Angels and even the game-show, The Weakest Link.  You’ll notice that none of the above are teen horror flicks which again shows the stupidity of this production.  As I said, all the good material was used in the first film.

At only 82 minutes, it’s a crime to think that the public should have to pay full price.  The Exorcist opening itself is eight minutes and when you throw in five minutes worth of credits, just how much are you actually getting?  To make matters worse, jokes from the original Scary Movie were used again here.  Very ordinary.  Comfortably, one of the worst films of the year.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 25 October 2001

That is until a freak storm arrives and his $150,000 boat is obliterated by a bolt of lightening.  When the wave of the near-death experience subsides, Steve is shocked to find his insurance company unwilling to fork over compensation for a new boat.  Apparently, his insurance policy doesn’t cover “acts of god” and this loophole leaves Steve feeling screwed by corporate bigwigs.

So just what does he do?  It’s useless suing the insurance companies as their policies are watertight but what about God?  Who’s to say what an “act of god” really is?  And so he begins an action against the church, as a representative of God, to prove that this truly wasn’t an “act of god”.

Siding with Steve is journalist Anna Redmond (Davis) who knows that to be successful, he’ll need the media on his side.  She acts as his media liaison and he’s soon front-page material with all of Sydney talking about his story.  The Churches and their lawyers are starting to take this seriously...

The Man Who Sued God is one of the most morally disgraceful films I have seen.  The performances are great and there’s nothing wrong with Mark Joffe’s (Cosi) direction but how anyone associated with the production can live with themselves is incomprehensible.

Another Australian production, The Bank, was released several weeks ago and targeted banks in a one-sided attempt to please audiences.  The Man Who Sued God goes even further with its blatant targeting of insurance companies.  The companies’ and their respective lawyers are treated as the bad guys, Billy Connolly’s Scottish accent will adore him to audiences as the good guy and there’s absolutely no in-between.

Without engaging in a heated debate on the global economic future, I do believe that corporations (and not people) run the world and in an era where a very small percentage of the population control most of the wealth, I’m not proud of the path we are taking.  You’d think my stance would favour such a film but nothing provocative is ever explored.  It’s nothing more than easy jokes against a traditional public enemy who isn’t given a chance to defend itself.  Does it come as a surprise that the film failed to mention the overwhelming fact that if such frivolous lawsuits were to exist, the price of insurance premiums would only rise to compensate?

The religious aspect of the film is also sure to offend.  Churches and their leaders are heavily criticised but save face in the final scenes when they realise the true error of their ways.  Again, this may be a comedy but the underlying subtext is rather sinister.

Telstra recorded a record profit of $4.1b last year so can I soon expect a lopsided comedy about a man who doesn’t pay his bill and gets away with it?  From the audience’s positive reaction to The Man Who Sued God, it’d be a sure hit.  Film is a powerful medium but when used as a tool for propaganda, it can become just as powerful a weapon.