Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 28 June 2001

The past is then revealed.  Gabriel is an elusive terrorist and his latest scheme is something that only a screenwriter could conjure up.  Up until 1984, the government was stashing away millions earned from money laundering.  Threatened with exposure, the operation shut down but the money continued to earn interest and went from its initial $400 million to its current day $9.5 billion (that’s a 24% effective interest rate - give me a piece of that!).

Guarding the money is a high-tech computer system and Gabriel’s girlfriend, Ginger (Berry), believes she knows the man who can break into it.  Stanley has a history of “cyber crime” and has only recently been released after a two year stint in prison.  In that time, he lost custody of his daughter and has been ordered by the court to never to touch a computer again.  In a show of financial strength, Gabriel persuades Stanley to return to the business with a juicy $10 million offer.

Swordfish has promise but I constantly doubted its legitimacy.  One feels that “real life” cyber crime isn’t quite as exciting and that writer Skip Woods has tried to put a little too much colour and flair into the craft.  The scenes where Jackman sits at a computer trying to hack in are hopelessly unrealistic.  How can a man who hasn’t touched a computer in years crack the government’s highest security codes in a matter of days?  Not a comforting thought.

The ending is especially weak - a ludicrous bus chase followed by a quick resolution and a senseless twist.  It’s a shame the film ended on such a note because it was interesting for the majority (despite the flaws).

Backed by strong dialogue, Hugh Jackman deserves praise but John Travolta surprised with his dynamic performance (reminiscent of Face/Off).  Hale Berry was paid an additional $500,000 for a 5-second scene in which she bears her breasts.  The scene was totally unnecessary and I cannot understand why Berry agreed to do it (apart from the money) and why director Dominic Sena decided to include it.  I think the studio might have had the final say on this one.

The pivotal action scenes are well shot and don’t succumb to the recent trend of over editing (I particularly loved the Matrix-like explosion at the beginning).  The film deserves its MA rating - not for the violence but for the many unnecessary sexual references.  Apart from Berry’s breasts, there’s a scene in which Jackman gets a blow-job whilst hacking into a computer.  Can I ask why?

Following Pearl Harbor and Tomb Raider, it is strike three in the Hollywood action stakes of 2001.  With the class of 2000 generally regarded as the worst ever, 2001’s line-up is looking even sicker.  Do I even dare predict what’s in store for 2002?

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 21 June 2001

I’ve been asked “the question” a few times this past week and I’ve been left stumped without an answer.  Recently, my responses have been Moulin Rouge and Memento but both have been screening for over a month.  Shrek’s worth seeing but it’s hard to convince adults to take the time and nobody’s heard of (let alone seen) The House Of Mirth.

Having enjoyed the trailers, I was eagerly hoping Tomb Raider would give me something positive to talk about but once again, I’ve been let down.  Angelina Jolie is Lara Croft, a sexy super-hero with a fetish for looking good and wearing tight outfits.  Her father (played by real-life dad Jon Voight), died 15 years ago but left Lara an important request.

For the first time in 5,000 years, the nine planets of the Solar System will soon align and at that exact moment, a powerful force threatens to be released.  There exists a mystical clock that will guide its holder to the location of two metallic triangle pieces that when joined together, create the power to control time.  The clock falls into the hands of “bad guy” Alex Marrs (Craig) and it’s up to Lara to “save the universe again.”

If the plot sounds thin, then that’s because it is!  The majority of the action sequences are ordinary.  There were lots of close shaves and big explosions but quick editing combined with an overuse of special effects made it hard to figure out what the hell was going on.  At times it was a giant blur.  The plot is full of holes and about 1% made sense - it’s almost as if significant scenes were left on the cutting room floor.  The film's best described as a female Indiana Jones without a script.  Enticed yet?

I can’t bag the entire film because Academy Award winner Angelina Jolie is decent.  Despite getting no help from fellow cast members, she is tough yet reserved making for an interesting character.  You can’t help but laugh though at her shower scene which adds nothing to the story and is obviously designed to tease and get the audience talking.

Look, when we’ve run out of ideas to the point that we have to look to computer games for inspiration, something is wrong.  A computer game is designed to challenge the player and having played the game itself, I can remember the complex thought required to beat it.  Let’s just say that apart from the endurance factor, the film didn’t offer quite so much of a challenge...

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 21 June 2001

I’m surprised that this film was released at all.  There is an American cartoon called Recess and this is the full feature movie for fans of the show.  The problem is that the show has never been seen in Australia and won’t be screened for the first time until July (and even that will be on the Disney Channel).  How is it that Disney expects people to pay money to see this poor animation when they don’t know much of the characters and when Shrek’s screening in the theatre next door?

The story revolves around a group of kids who are now on vacation after finishing the 4th grade.  Most are going away to summer camps but T.J. is staying home and bracing himself for a very boring time.  That is until he discovers some unusual lights emanating from the school and closer inspection reveals a mastermind with a devilish scheme.

Former principal Dr. Benedict has developed a laser that when shot from the school’s roof, will change the position of the moon.  This will turn summer into winter and eliminate the excitement of the holidays.  This will force all students to return to school early and make them to study even harder.  T.J. calls back the gang from camp to sabotage Dr. Benedict’s evil plot.

It’s a weak story combined with weak drawings and with the high bar being set by Chicken Run, Toy Story 2 and Shrek, a film like this doesn’t cut it anymore.  Save yourself the trouble and forget it - it’s aimed at a limited demographic and adults will find nothing to laugh about.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 14 June 2001

There was a great discussion on The Panel last week talking about the weakness of modern-day scripts.  Casablanca, in my opinion the greatest film of all time, originally began with a 250 page treatment from which the best parts were taken to condense the film into two hours.  It was the golden time in Hollywood and screenwriters of the era would be horrified to see how many of today’s scripts are created.  Many are created from just a few pages of notes and made stretch into 90 minutes.

You can’t overlook the evidence.  Look at recent atrocities such as Head Over Heels, Crocodile Dundee in L.A., Monkeybone and Valentine (all released in past two months).  A simple idea is dragged out and tortured to death.  With stars signing contracts before drafts are even written, the importance of the script itself is being lost and trust me, it’s not conducive to good filmmaking.

Set in 1905, The House Of Mirth revolves around Lily Bart (brilliantly played by Gillian Anderson) and her quest to find love and fortune.  Her wealthy aunt affords her a life of luxury which makes her a part of elite society.  Lily has reached that age where marriage is expected and in a time when a woman’s reputation is all she has, her own mistakes combined with ill wishes from others, will make her task to find a husband very difficult.

Lily has always longed for Lawrence (Stoltz) and the two are close but neither will admit to their true feelings.  Lily stumbles across letters indicating Lawrence has been romantically involved with good friend Bertha (Linney) meaning she is cheating on her husband George (Terry).  Thinking Lawrence does not love her, Lily pursues other avenues including the advancements of the married Gus Trenor (Aykroyd) and the wealthy Sim Rosedale (LaPaglia).  Lily knows she must marry but despite the offers of fortune and security that these two gentlemen can provide, her heart is tied to Lawrence and will not let go.

Her world is soon shattered when her gambling debts are discovered by her aunt who disinherits Lily from her will.  Further, Bertha is looking for a way out of her marriage with George and uses Lily as a scapegoat by publicly announcing the lie that the two were having an affair.  With her reputation in tatters, Lily has the evidence to clear her name (the letters) but in doing so would destroy the reputation of her true love Lawrence.  Whichever path she takes, someone will be hurt.

It’s a marvellous film with the kind of cast you wouldn’t always expect.  Director Terence Davies is a newcomer to Hollywood and gets the most out of his crew.  I could rave of the impeccable sets and costumes (as I always do with period piece productions) but it’s the depth of the story which has me recommending it so highly.  It may not have the razzle and dazzle of Moulin Rouge but the message is still the same - love can give so much and yet take so much away.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 21 June 2001

Shrek is naturally upset and goes to Farquaad with a talking donkey (Murphy) who makes him a deal.  Farquaad wants to be a king and the only way he can become one is by marrying a princess.  Guided by the magic mirror, he chooses Princess Fiona (Diaz) as his bride to be but unfortunately she’s stuck atop a tower guarded by a nasty dragon.  Farquaad has agreed that if Shrek can rescue the Princess, he will be given sole title to the forest to continue is life of solitude.

A sparkling idea, Shrek takes all our memorable fairy tale stars and creates riotous comedy.  Taking a ribbing are Snow White and The Seven Dwarves, Little Red Riding Hood, Three Blind Mice, The Three Little Pigs, and even The Gingerbread Man.  Don’t look past a really great soundtrack too.  Instead of creating a whole new series of songs sung by dancing animals (ala Disney), modern pop songs are effectively woven into the dialogue.

Whilst the jokes are very funny, the plot is a little thin and could have used more substance.  I know it’s only a kids’ flick but Toy Story 2 and Chicken Run proved that depth in the story can appeal to adults as well as children.  Regardless, it’s hard not to lie back, relax and have a good time (it’s even better with popcorn).

Proving a major threat to Pearl Harbor’s number one box-office status in America, Shrek is the family film to see this holiday.  There may not be big bombs and explosions but as they say, laughter is always the best medicine.