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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 04 April 2005

17-year-old Maria Alvarez (Moreno) is looking for independence.  In her native Colombia, she works in a flower factory.  For minimum wage, she stands at a desk, removes the leaves off long flower stalks, bundles them together, and tries to meet her daily quota.  Further frustrating Maria is her family.  Most of her pay has to go her mother and her unemployed, unmarried sister who has a young baby to take care of.

At a party, she meets a young guy who offers a better employment opportunity – as a drug “mule”.  The lure of big dollars is just too attractive and Maria accepts.  Before starting her first assignment, Maria gets the run-down from her new boss.  She will need to starve herself for 24 hours then swallow roughly 80 rubber capsules filled with heroine.  Maria will then be ready to board a flight to New York, slip through customs undetected and then extricate the drugs from her stomach in a hotel room.  In her innocent eyes, it’s worth the risk.

Maria Full Of Grace is as informative as it is engaging.  I’m aware of the drug trafficking problems in Central America (having seen Traffic amongst other films) but never before have I seen a film go so intimately behind the scenes.  The capsules that Maria is forced to swallow are about 4.2cm long and 1.4cm wide.  Can you imagine forcing 80 of those down your throat and having them sit in your stomach for over 24 hours?  The only thing stopping them from coming apart is a thin rubber coating.  If one should open up inside your stomach, you’ll surely die.

As perilous as it is, people are still willing to put their lives on the line.  The drug lords con naïve, poverty-stricken youngsters and stick a big, juicy carrot in front of their nose.  It’s an opportunity they can’t afford to turn down and the drug lords know it.  As the film’s poster promotes, this film is based not on one but on thousands of other similar stories.

The star of the film is Catalina Sandino Moreno in her very first movie role.  You can’t ask for a better start to one’s career and Moreno was rewarded with an Academy Award nomination for best actress in a leading role.  The fact that she has been recognised is the ultimate tribute to her performance.  It’s not easy being recognised when you star in a low-budget foreign language picture.  She lost out to Hilary Swank (Million Dollar Baby) but the nomination alone should see a few extra screenplays arrive at her front doorstep.

There are a few more elements to this story which are both fascinating and shocking.  I won’t spoil these plot developments as you need to enjoy this film without expectations.  It’s one reason why I love unheralded independent films – the fact that they are unknown and independent makes them a lot more difficult to predict.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 25 March 2005

If you’re there for the opening credits, you’ll see the “Walt Disney Pictures” logo before the opening credits start rolling.  It should therefore come as no surprise to see that The Pacifier is one of the most unoriginal films of 2005.  Every plot development seems borrowed/stolen from another film.  Think Kindergarten Cop.  Think Daddy Day Care.  Think Home Alone.

Vin Diesel plays Shane Wolfe, a top-notch Navy SEAL.  To introduce us to Wolfe, the film takes on a daring rescue mission where he kills the enemy and rescues a renowned scientist, Dr Howard Plummer.  I guess the movie gets away with a PG rating because those being killed were the “Serbian rebels” and the camera lens avoids any of the actual killings.  On completing the assignment, Wolfe makes one error in judgement in letting Dr Plummer call his wife and kids to let them know he’s ok.  Unfortunately, they are then set upon by more attackers and that’s all we get to see.

We then skip Wolfe’s rehabilitation in hospital and rejoin the story to see his release.  Dr Plummer was killed and Wolfe learns why they were after him.  The good doctor was working on a top secret computer program which assist the U.S. military but could be deadly in the wrong hands.  Unfortunately for the Serbians, they did not find anything in the suitcase that Dr Plummer was carrying at the time.

The wife of Dr Plummer, Julie (Ford), receives word that her late husband had a safety deposit box with a Swiss bank.  Thinking this may hold the answers to the project, she travels to Switzerland under the close watch of an army captain.

This ridiculous series of events finally sets the crux of film.  Wolfe has to guard Mrs Plummer’s children while she’s overseas.  Here’s just a sample of the questions I had at this point.  Why was he picked as the right man for this job?  Why was he assigned this position with absolutely no back up?  How did he assemble all his alarms and gizmos in no time at all?  Why weren’t these kids being protected during the 2 months whilst Wolfe was in hospital?

What happens is exactly as you’d expect.  The five children hate Wolfe and don’t react well to his authority.  They set booby-traps for him, try to sneak out of the house and even throw a wild party.  Wolfe doesn’t want to be there either since he has no kids, cares little for them and can’t even change a diaper.  Lo and behold, the two weeks they spend together changes their lives.  Oh yes, and wait till you see who’s responsible for the final attack – it’s those damn North Koreans!  Sigh.

It’s a strange career choice for Vin Diesel but at least he’s making an effort to break away from his action-hero stereotype.  He gets a few laughs but don’t expect much.  For Everybody Loves Raymond star Brad Garrett, the death bells are ringing on his cinematic career.  As the vice principal of the school the Plummer children attend, his character was as bad as it gets.

Kids will surely get a laugh out of The Pacifier.  Adults won’t be quite as lucky.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 03 April 2005

It’s New Year’s Eve and the final night for the staff of police Precinct 13.  Funding cuts have forced the office to close.  For Officer Jack Roenick (Hawke), it marks the end of an uneventful eight month posting.  He was once a leading undercover detective but lost two of his valued comrades in a botched raid.  Jack subsequently lost his nerve and has hidden himself away in this run-down precinct office.

The action is set to begin.  A police bus is en route from the city to the jailhouse and has on board, amongst others, the city’s most wanted man – Marion Bishop (Fishburne).  In a wild snowstorm making driving almost impossible, the bus has been diverted to Precinct 13 where the prisoners will have to spend the night in their old jail cells.

Officer Jack Roenick and his small crew are not prepared for what is to follow.  Just after the stroke of midnight, truckloads of men turn up at their doorstep with a tonne of artillery.  They want Marion Bishop at any cost.  As Jack soon learns though, they don’t want to break him out.  The men outside are crooked cops – determined to make sure Marion never gets the chance to testify against them in court.

Jack can avoid any trouble by simply handing Marion over.  This though, will not be an option.  As bad a man as Marion Bishop is, Jack won’t see justice circumvented by having him released to the waiting assassins.  It’s going to be a shoot-out to see who’s the last left standing…

Assault On Precinct 13 is a standard good versus evil story.  Standard is the best adjective I can offer.  The characters are horribly one dimensional and the dialogue uttered is almost a tribute to you bad action film.  Don’t ask me why but I still found myself enjoying the story as it unfolded.  You know there’s at least one character who’s going to switch sides but you’re never quite sure who.  Also, a few key characters meet a demise which I didn’t expect.

I guarantee there’s something you’ll remember about this film – its violence.  Some of the scenes are very graphic and from the opening introduction, you’ll sense that director Jean-Francois Richet is prepared to show just about anything.  With the film set entirely at night, you might also notice that the tones are very dark.  There isn’t much colour and with the limited lighting, it must have been a challenge for the filmmakers to create clear visuals.

This isn’t a film for any DVD collection but with a couple of twists along the way, it’s worth a look just once.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 22 March 2005

Of an afternoon, you can be sure to catch at least one low-budget Aussie series aimed at a teen audience.  I can remember watching them after school and you could also catch them early on Saturday morning.  They defined the term “cheesy”.  The storylines were often farcical and the young actors delivered their lines as if they’d never rehearsed them.  In hindsight, they were fun to watch but they certainly weren’t going to win any awards.

Hating Alison Ashley reminds me of such shows.  The characters and setting are over-the-top and it all looks second-rate.  Just seeing Craig McLachlan in a patheticly unfunny supporting role is proof enough.  Unless you’re a girl under the age of 15 or a fan of Robin Klein’s novel, this film ain’t for you.

Alison Ashely (Goodrem) arrives as a new student at Barringa East High School.  Almost immediately, she’s become the mortal enemy of Erica Yurken (Burmeister).  She may not have many friends but Erica’s good grades have ensured she’s got want she wants – the mantle as the teacher’s pet.  Alison’s arrival however marks a changing of the guard.  Alison’s got the brains and the looks and she’s innocently worming her way into the teacher’s hearts.

This will not stand for Erica.  Nor will the fact that Alison is winning of the heart of the school bad-boy Barry Hollis (Cappelli).  Something has to be done but Erica won’t be getting any help from her eccentric family.  Her younger sister is always pretending to be a horse and her older sister has become a major bitch who won’t let anyone in her room.

I don’t what to think of Saskia Burmeister in the leading role.  She is so incredibly annoying and every time she spoke, I felt like throwing something at the screen.  Then again, I think this is what her immature character is all about so she’s probably done quiet a good job.  Her resume is ideal too having appeared in one of those cheesy Aussie shows – a series in 2003 known as Wicked Science.  I must have missed that one.  Cough, cough. 

Hating Alison Ashley is probably the most well known Australian film of the past two years.  There’s been a heavy advertising campaign to take advantage of the high-profile status of singer Delta Goodrem.  Those expecting Delta to shine will be disappointed as she is largely in the background and doesn’t seem to say or do much.  The hoping for a revival in the Australian film industry might also be disappointed.  In my Monday night screening during the film’s first week, I was one of only two patrons.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 25 March 2005

Can someone please explain to me what this film was all about?  It had scary music.  It looked dark and creepy.  It had scenes designed to have the audience jump out of their seat.  Yet I have no idea what was going on.

I enjoyed the The Ring which helped launch the international career of Australian Naomi Watts.  I know many others enjoyed the film also as it was popular at the box-office.  If you’re expecting the same level of intrigue and excitement then you can think again.  In no way does think sequel match the original.

To quickly cover the wafer-thin storyline, Rachel Keller (Watts) and her son Aidan (Dorfman) have escaped their past horrors to rebuild their lives in a quiet American town.  Their happiness is short-lived when the journalist Rachel learns that a 17-year-old boy was killed exactly 7 days after watching a video tape.  It’s happening all over again.  This time though, the ghost behind the tape has more plans.  Looking for a new body to inhabit, the mysterious girl thinks Aidan is perfect.

I’ve been very disappointed with the thrillers of late emanating from the U.S.  They are trying to be too tricky for their own good.  We can’t always see films as original and stylish as The Sixth Sense but please, can you please start making films which are plausible and follow conventional logic?

There was a hushed silence at the end of my screening.  I remember someone saying “right, now let’s go drinking”.  Probably not a bad idea since it’s a great opportunity to leave behind any memory of The Ring 2.