Directed by: Tom Green
Written by:Tom Green, Derek Harvie
Starring: Tom Green, Rip Torn, Hardland Williams, Stephen Tobolowsky, Anthony Michael Hall
Released: June 7, 2001
Grade: C-

Most Australians won’t be familiar with him but Tom Green is a controversial American comedian in the same vein as Howard Stern.  He’s had his own show (which has screened here on the Comedy Channel) but his most widely seen role to date was as the narrator and co-star of Road Trip (he was the guy who ate the mouse, remember?).

For some reason, 20th Century Fox found him worthy of his own film and gave him $15m for him to write, direct and star in it.  Gord (Green) is a cartoon writer who wants to make it in Hollywood.  His dad (Torn) just wants him find a job and move out of home so he can relax and enjoy his retirement.  With that said, let’s just go through the “highlights” of Freddie Got Fingered.

In one scene, Gord drives pass a horse stud farm which excites him.  He proceeds to jump from his car, run to a horse and masturbates the horse’s penis.  In another scene, Gord sees a dead deer in the middle of the road.  He gets a knife and cuts the skin from the animal and then dances around wearing the blood soaked skin pretending to be the deer.  Do you want more?

When in hospital visiting a friend, Gord’s antics offend a pregnant lady in the next bed which sends her into labour.  Gord makes things right by delivering the baby.  He then chews through the umbilical cord with his teeth and swings the baby around leaving blood splattered on the walls and nearby patients.

As fate has it, Gord meets a young lady in hospital named Betty (Marisa Coughlan) who’s paralysed from the waist down.  To reach orgasm, she has Gord whip her legs with a bamboo cane which drives her wild.  She’s not the kind of girl who likes to go out - she’d just prefer to stay home and suck his cock.  Shall I continue?

I guess there’s one more scene requiring explanation.  When his father has a go at him for being a loser, Gord decides to get back at dad but accusing him of molesting Freddie, his younger son (hence the title).  Authorities then place Freddie in a home for abused children and begin criminal proceedings against the accused.  Amused?

Incredibly sick and twisted, I laughed quite often during Freddie Got Fingered but it was “at” the film and not “with” the film.  It’s nothing more than a 90 minute skit of Tom Green acting stupid - it doesn’t flow and there’s certainly no story.  Everyone has a different sense of humour and maybe there are people that would find this funny but not me.  Jerking off an elephant and spraying his father with the semen is not my idea of comedy.

If you do see the film and enjoy it more than I, please tell me so that I can lose all respect for you.  With the current trend of “gross out” comedies, there’s a fine line being drawn between what is funny and what is sick.  Never before has one film been so far over that line and Freddie Got Fingered sets a new benchmark for human depravity that may never again be matched.