I can’t remember much at all about the first three Resident Evil movies.  This is either a sign that (1) I’m getting too old, or (2) the films deserved to be forgotten.  I’m pretty sure it’s the later.  According to my review archive, none of them received my endorsement.  I guess that’ll come as no big surprise.  If you are a fan of the series, there’s no need to read any further.  You and I have very different tastes.

For those still reading (and I hope that makes up the majority of the population), I can reveal the sad truth - this is one of the worst films of the year.  I’ve seen computer games with more realistic special effects.  Director Paul W.S. Anderson has tried to jump on the 3D bandwagon but the effects do nothing (except take an extra few dollars from your wallet).

The “plot” centres on our hero Alice (Jovovich) breaking into the well guarded fortress of the Umbrella Corporation.  She’s out to get revenge on those who created the nasty virus which turned everyone into flesh eating zombies.  Alice is up against more than a hundred armed men but yes, she manages to kill them all.  However, the ultimate bad guy (Roberts) gets away.  Damn.

Alice then goes in search of a secret place known as Arcadia.  If the rumours are true, it’s a safe haven for humans not affected by the virus.  It will provide shelter and food.  En route, she meets a small group of survivors who are also seeking refuge.  They’ve bailed themselves up in a prison in Los Angeles and can’t escape due to the army of zombies waiting outside the walls.  What will they do? 

I’ve used this analogy before but it’s as if they made this script up as they went along.  A character can seemingly kill an endless number of zombies and yet they leave themselves open to the simplest of attacks.  I know that such action films aren’t supposed to be realistic but it’s hard to feel any tension when the story is so silly.  Some scenes are laughable.  Springing to mind is a ridiculous moment when Alice jumps off the prison roof whilst being chased by a million zombies.  Oh, and the scene is in slow motion too for “dramatic effect”.

Maybe that’s the point?  Director Paul W.S. Anderson (Death Race) just wanted to have fun with some big explosions and a high body count.  Even so, how many more Resident Evil films are they going to make?  Hopefully the answer is zero.