Directed by: Bruce Hendricks
Released: March 20, 2008
Grade: B

 

Detective Johnson:   Mr. Toomey, as you would have heard, there was a murder in your apartment building a few nights ago.  We’d like to ask you a few questions.

Matthew Toomey:     No worries.  Fire away.

Detective Johnson:   Where were you on the night of March 24 at around 9:00pm?

Matthew Toomey:     Um, ah, I was actually at the movies.

Detective Johnson:   What was the movie?  Where did you see it?

Matthew Toomey:     It was, ah, um, ah, um, the Hannah Montana 3D movie.  I saw it at the Birch Carroll & Coyle Cinemas at Indooroopilly.

Detective Johnson:   Hmmm, ok.  And who did you see it with?  Is there anyone who can verify that you were at the cinemas?

Matthew Toomey:     Ah, look, I know this is going to sound bad, but I actually saw it on my own.

Detective Johnson:   So you’re telling me that you gave up a Monday night and went alone to see a film marketed at 12-year-old girls?  Do you really expect me to believe this?

Matthew Toomey:     Well it is the truth, I swear.  There were just 4 of us in the cinema and I sat in the second back row to be as inconspicuous as possible.  I didn’t really want to attract attention to myself.

Detective Johnson:   But why were you watching that movie in the first place?  You’re sounding a little suspicious.

Matthew Toomey:     Well, you see, I’m actually a part-time film critic.  I have a website where you can see all my reviews and I also do a segment on 2 radio programs.  I missed the free press screening and so had to pay to see it like everyone else.  Trust me - this is the last film I’d pay to see.  I just went because I had to.

Detective Johnson:   Ok then.  I’ll look into that.  So do you remember who sold you the ticket at the cinema?  Can they confirm your whereabouts at 9:00pm?

Matthew Toomey:     No, I can’t remember, sorry.  I was trying to avoid eye contact with the cashier.  It was embarrassing enough asking for the ticket.  I do remember trying to get a student discount with my Australian Film Institute Membership card but she wouldn’t let me since it was a 3D movie and there was no concession rate.  I had to pay a ridiculous $16.50.  Those cinemas are such a rip off and they really…

Detective Johnson:   All right, calm down Mr. Toomey.  If you really where there and you did see the movie, tell me a bit about it.

Matthew Toomey:     Well, Miley Cyrus in the daughter of country singer Billy Ray Cyrus.  She stars in some Disney TV show in America called Hannah Montana.  The show is about a girl who lives a double life.  She’s a normal school girl by day and music star by night.  The movie has nothing really to do with the TV show.  It’s just a bunch of songs that Miley sung at a huge concert somewhere in the U.S.  You can see thousands of screaming kids in the audience.  I guess she’s pretty big over there.  I’d never heard of her until I saw the movie.  The cool twist to the film was that they shot it in 3D.  So you get special glasses to watch the movie with and it does look pretty neat.  If you’re a Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana fan, I reckon you’d like it.  I can’t see it appealing to anyone else.  You do believe me now, right?  I can show you my 3D glasses if you’d like?

Detective Johnson:   Nah, that’s ok.  Your story is so horribly embarrassing that I’m thinking that it must be true.  I’ll see if the cinemas can confirm your presence on their security cameras.  Look, I’ll give you my card.  If you have anything else you’d like to tell me, please give me a call.  I’ll be in touch.

Matthew Toomey:     Thanks Detective.  Sorry I wasn’t able to be more help.