Ocean’s Twelve is a lazy film that’s too cool for school.  Steven Soderbergh and his team have tried to create another slick crime caper but haven’t delivered.  If I had the time, I’d like to go back and watch it again to see if the conclusion makes sense.  I don’t think it does.  A far-fetched scenario is invented whereby our heroes can escape as the victors.  Excuse me for having a brain.

If you remember the previous film, 11 thieves robbed $160m from a casino.  Now, casino boss Terry Benedict (Garcia) has come after them.  Benedict visits each member of “Ocean’s 11” to give them a straight forward demand – the money must be returned, with interest, in 14 days.

The only way they’ll come up with the money is to pull off another huge job.  Knowing they’re too hot to work in America, they set off for Amsterdam to meet with a contact.  What Rusty (Pitt) doesn’t reveal to the other team members is that he has an old flame in Amsterdam (Zeta-Jones) who is out to get him.

As events start unfolding, an unexpected offer emerges.  One of the world’s great criminals, Francois Toulour (Vincent Cassel), wants to know if he’s better than Ocean’s group.  After meeting with Danny Ocean (Clooney) they agree on a test – the first to steal a famous Faberge egg from a security Italian museum will be the winner.  If Ocean’s 11 get their first, Toulour will pay the outstanding debt with Benedict.  And so it begins…

As disinterested as I became, there was one scene of enjoyment.  Danny’s wife Tess (Roberts) helps their quest by impersonating someone else.  This starts an hilarious escapade which explores an age-old question in movies regarding truth and fiction.  That’s all I’m willing to tell because the twist is handled so beautifully by the cast and the writers that it would be a shame to spoil.  In my sold out session, the audience well and truly enjoyed it.

For the rest of Ocean’s 12 though, it’s a matter of going through the motions.  I’m sure Clooney, Pitt and co had a great time filming all over the globe but I didn’t particularly enjoy watching them.  The introduction in which the crew are united is way too long.  The conclusion is silly and confusing.  The characters are not as funny nor as entertaining.

As I’ve said before, a crap movie with big name stars is still a crap movie.  It may take oodles at the box-office but few will remember the details of this film in years to come.