For a while, I thought Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle was a soft porn film.  How so?  Well the leading actresses walk around with practically nothing on.  The dialogue in horribly cheesy.  There’s an abundance of sexual innuendo.  There is no plot.  Unfortunately, I soon realised that Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu weren’t going to provide the “money shots” and this left the film in limbo – there’s not enough nudity for it to be a porno but there’s not enough story for it to be a motion picture.

If you’re not a fan of “plots” and you’re seeing this film because of the action factor, you’ll also be disappointed.  The action sequences are filled with outrageously far-fetched special effects and poorly selected body doubles.  The director, known only as McG, shows no creativity in the action moves.  I was bored with the continual backflips and Matrix-like effects after just 5 minutes.

Columbia Tristar produced this junk and used its clout to secure a few cameos.  In a move I cannot explain, John Cleese appears as Liu’s father in a mere handful of scenes.  He does next-to-nothing and why he’d be attracted to the roll dumbfounds me.  Did Columbia put a gun to his head?  It seems the most likely explanation.  The same could be said for Matt LeBlanc and Luke Wilson who reprise their roles from the original as the Angel’s boyfriends.  Tom Green is the only boyfriend who did not return for this film but that’s likely to have something to do with the fact he both married and divorced Drew Barrymore in 2001.  It just wouldn’t work having them both on the set with their “irreconcilable differences”.

One actor who deserves praise is Bill Murray who has not reprised his role as Bosley.  Instead, the character is played American comedian Bernie Mac.  I can’t be too critical of Bernie since I couldn’t understand much of what he said.  He has a new sidekick too – a kid called Max who wins the award for the most useless person in a supporting role.

During the closing credits, we get the now familiar look at all the outtakes.  These aren’t amusing in the slightest and it highlights just how ignorant these actors are.  Just because you are having fun on the set doesn’t necessarily mean your audience will.  The credits close with Diaz, Barrymore and Liu laughing hysterically.  I believe those scenes were shot when the day they received their multi-million dollar pay checks.

Action aside, the film gets really nasty when it goes for the heart-strings.  A sub-plot involves Barrymore leaving the Angels because she doesn’t want her own past jeopardising their lives.  I can put up with bad action but if you’re going to trivialise it with sappy emotional stuff, then that’s the final straw.

I have never seen the Charlie’s Angles television series but I’m positive that it was more interesting that this tripe.  Action is a popular genre but this is pure overkill.