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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 05 February 2004

They say simple movies can be described in a single sentence.  Timeline is the story of an archaeologist who uses an experimental time machine to travel back to 14^th century France, becomes stuck, and has a group of friends come to rescue him.

A Timeline by Matthew Toomey.

7:02pm – Enter theatre.

7:15pm – Advertisements commence.

7:18pm – Trailers commence (Open Range, One Perfect Day, The Missing).

7:24pm – Film begins.

7:26pm – Eyebrows peak.  I didn’t realise Billy Connolly was in this.

7:31pm – Finish popcorn.

7:34pm – Think to myself “this isn’t too bad”.

7:35pm – Things start to turn against me.

7:40pm – Paul Walker utters a line of dialogue.  I cringe.

7:52pm – Fail to grasp the idea that archaeologists are better fighters than fully trained army men.

7:55pm – Wonder why everyone speaks the same fluent English in the 14^th century as they do in the 21^st century (including the French).

8:00pm – Stomach churns when watching Paul Walker and Frances O’Connor share a first kiss despite being in a life-threatening situation.

8:03pm – Start to realise the film doesn’t make any sense and is completely unrealistic (even for a time travel movie).

8:13pm – Look at watch.

8:18pm – Wonder about how I can adequately sum up my dislike for this movie in my review.

8:22pm – Wonder if John Crichton’s book is better than this.

8:25pm – Think about what I’m doing next week.

8:27pm – See a French actor I recognise from another movie but can’t place his face.

8:29pm – Realise the actor is the guy who played Merovingian in The Matrix: Reloaded.

8:36pm – Look at watch.  Realise there’s about 30 minutes to go.

8:42pm – Struggle to comprehend why a great Australian actress like Frances O’Connor would sign up for this and deliver such mindless dialogue.

8:49pm – Lose complete track of the plot and quietly chuckle at how mediocre the battle scenes look.

8:54pm – Look at watch.  Think about whether I’ll be able to get home in time to see the golf highlights on Fox Sports News.

8:59pm – Realise the David Thewlis character is one of the most useless I have ever seen.

9:01pm – Look at watch.  Realise the end is nigh.  Hope it’ll be a really short conclusion.

9:05pm – Credits start rolling.  Leave theatre immediately.  Over a woman in the lobby say “well I wasn’t expecting a masterpiece but that was terrible.”

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 24 January 2004

I find it hard to believe Underworld was filmed on a budget of just $23m (as reported at the Internet Movie Database).  If so, they’ve certainly gotten value for their dollar.  Makes you wonder how they end up spending $100m or more on so many action blockbusters.  This film has some awesome looking sets, many detailed costumes, heaps of dangerous stunts, and numerous touch-ups with the special effects paintbrush.

For centuries, vampires and werewolves (known as lycans) have fought against each other in a violent war.  No one can remember how this war began but the vampires have seized the advantage with very few lycans remaining in the world.  Selene (Beckinsale) is what is known as a death dealer – a vampire charged with roaming the night in search of lycans.  On a routine evening, she sights two lycans but they escape her grasp.  What interests her most is what they were up to – they were following a human.

As humans are unknowing of this war and serve no use, this intrigues Selene.  She identifies him as Michael (Speedman) and tracks him down but he too is oblivious to why he is so important.  Her investigations will uncover a conspiracy she could never imagine.  There are many power hungry individuals involved and their plans will change the world of vampires and lycans forever.

It’s quite confusing to be honest and there’s an abundance of characters who at times are hard to differentiate.  The dark setting (with the film shot entirely at night) doesn’t help this problem.  Still, it’s better see an intricate plot rather than one which is too silly and simple.  At least screenwriter Danny McBride has made a concerted effort.

Kate Beckinsale is great as our feminine action hero.  It’s nice to see her not typecast as a romantic starlet ala Pearl Harbor and Serendipity.  Her costume happens to be a nice tight fit which I’m sure was no accident.  Not sure why she wears it but few audience members will care.  Late in the film sees the arrival of English actor Bill Nighy who looks very menacing under his make-up.  You may remember him as the only good thing in Love Actually and he’s great here also.  I had never heard of Nighy a year ago but now I see him as a promising talent.

It’s a bit of a stretch at just on two hours and could have been trimmed in places to speed up matters.  Maybe I’m just not a big enough fan of vampire movies (there seems to be so many these days) but I do admit to enjoying Underworld most of the way.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 01 February 2004

The Sundance Film Festival is the showcase of independent cinema in America.  If I listed some of the recent award winners from this festival you would probably tune out with a blank look on your face.  Budding filmmakers churn out their small films on shoe-string budgets in the hope of success.  Executives and scouts from the big-name studios attend the festival each year and will buy those films they think show promise to release as their own.  This isn’t some noble gesture by Hollywood to reward independent cinema.  The studios are interested largely in profit and pick up cheap Sundance “bargains” to reap a few million dollars in cinemas across the country.  The most famous example would have to be The Blair Witch Project which Artisan Entertainment purchased at the 1999 festival and then beautifully marketed to a total U.S. gross of over $140m.

Sundance is held every January and the 2004 has just been and gone.  Critics from the States have already detailed in their columns those films they think have a chance at making it to cinemas.  It’s not usually a long list.  There are a lot of great films but great isn’t usually good enough.  Only a handful of Sundance films each year will find financial success.

At the 2003 Sundance Film Festival, the critics honoured as their top choices – Capturing The Friedmans and American Splendor.  The later screened in Australia last September (and if you didn’t see it then you really did miss out).  Capturing The Friedmans will open here in the coming months.  But critics aren’t always right so there’s also an Audience Award judged by each member of the general public who attends a film at the Festival.  Last year their winners were… Whale Rider (the New Zealand film loved by most everyone who has seen it) and… The Station Agent.

It’s a simple, elegant story about three people needing friendship but who aren’t necessarily looking for it.  Finbar McBride (Dinklage) is a 4’6” dwarf who has inherited a deserted train station in a small desolate New Jersey town.  Finn has always been fascinated by trains and moves there to escape the bigger city.  He likes to keep to himself and you sense he is sick of people staring and laughing at him in the street.

On his first day at his new home he meets two people who he will soon get to know.  Joe Oramas (Cannavale) operates a small hotdog and coffee van.  He is running the business for his father who is ill.  Olivia Harris (Clarkson) lives alone in town and is still coming to grips with the separation from her husband and the death of her only son.

I was touched in places by Thomas McCarthy’s screenplay and I can see why the film has found such high appeal from audiences.  At the Screen Actors’ Guild Awards in America, their acting peers have considered Dinklage and Clarkson worthy of nominations and yes, they do deserve them.  Dinklage is great in a softly spoken role but Clarkson almost steals the show with her trouble character.  As a footnote, the entire cast has been nominated for best ensemble at the Guild Awards alongside In America, The Return Of The King, Mystic River and Seabiscuit.  That means something.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 22 January 2004

The following self-assessment exam represents 100% of your grade in Film 101.  Please read the case study below before answering the questions which follow.

Case Study

Reuben Feffer (Stiller) is an expert risk assessor at a leading insurance company.  He is very conservative, somewhat neurotic and never takes a risk himself without fully calculating what he’s up against.  Reuben has just married Lisa Kramer (Messing), a lovely lady who we know nothing about (a deliberate ploy so that we don’t feel sorry for her I’m sure).  On their honeymoon, Reuben and Lisa are approached by a nudist named Claude (Azaria) who asks them to come scuba diving on his boat.  Reuben pulls out at the last minute with cold feet.  When he returns to the boat a few hours later, he finds Lisa and Claude making passionate love inside the cabin.

Reuben heads back home to New York.  His best friend, Sandy (Hoffman), encourages Reuben to come with him to a swanky party.  There he is approached by a waitress named Polly Prince (Aniston) who remembers him from middle school.  Polly details her immediate past – she’s never been married, hates commitment, loves spontaneity and has been in eight consecutive doomed relationships.  On paper, she is anything but a perfect match for Reuben.

Part A (5 marks)

If you were a cliché ridden Hollywood screenwriter only interested in creating feel-good schmaltz garbage in the interests of financial profit, what plot developments would follow and how would this film end?

Answer Guide – Part A (award 1 mark for each of the following points)

• Reuben will go out on a date with Polly.  It will go horribly but in being insanely funny,  neither will seem to mind.

• The start seeing each other more and will be on the verge of falling in love.

• Lisa will then return unexpectedly out of the blue looking for forgiveness from Reuben.

• Polly will then think she has no chance with Reuben and will stop returning his calls.

• His father will then give some advice and from utter confusion, Reuben will understand in an instant with crystal clarity who he loves – Polly.

• Reuben will then goes after Polly only to find out from a close friend that she’s leaving town on a plane in just two hours.

• He will go racing after her, they will look deeply into each other’s eyes, express their true feelings and live happily ever after.

• All the above will be inter-laced with tired, lame, predictable jokes (the best of which appear in the trailer).

• A bonus mark is to be award to anyone who points out the irony of a film about telling us to take risks when the filmmakers themselves don’t take a single risk.

• A further bonus mark to anyone mentioning the unoriginality of writer/director John Hamberg or questioning his sanity.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 29 January 2004

It’s been a week since I’ve seen In America (I’m behind with my reviews) but there’s something enchanting about this film that keeps it in the forefront of my mind.  Virtually every film (both big and small) follows a familiar “three act” structure.  That is to say, we are introduced to the characters in the first act, the story is developed in the second act, and then things are wrapped up in the third and final act.  What surprised me about In America was that this structure couldn’t be found.  We only truly learn about the characters deep into the story and the film’s finish isn’t easy to anticipate.

The man responsible for this screenplay knows a thing or two about filmmaking.  Irish director Jim Sheridan’s has touched audiences before with his dramas My Left Foot and In The Name Of The Father.  As many have pointed out, In America is Sheridan’s “most personal” film to date as it is heavily based on his own life.  He co-wrote the script with his two daughters, Naomi and Kirsten, and all three were rewarded last Tuesday with an Oscar nomination in the original screenplay category.

The film centres on an Irish family immigrating to America in search of a new and better life.  Johnny (Considine) is struggling to find work as an actor forcing Sarah (Morton) to get a job at a small café to help pay the bills.  Their two daughters Christy and Ariel are excited about the fresh start and the change in scenery is helping heal recent wounds.  There was a once a son in the family but he passed away back in Ireland and things haven’t been the same since.

These dramas may sound depressing but the story is beautifully uplifting in that it is told from the point of view of Christy and Ariel.  Like kids of their age, they’re fascinated by even the smallest matter and life seems so much better their innocent eyes.  Christy and Ariel make friends with an African-America resident in the rundown apartment block and whilst I can’t go into too much more detail here (it’s a key part of the plot), the way his “troubles” are expressed and visualised is truly unique.

Super performances are turned in from sisters Sarah and Emma Bolger as the two children.  It’s hard to find good young actors so credit to Jim Sheridan for finding them.  The remaining three stars are largely unheralded by Hollywood standards but Paddy Considine (24 Hour Party People), Samantha Morton (Minority Report) and Djimon Hounsou (Gladiator) are in touch with Sheridan’s intentions and deliver appropriately poignant performances.  As a footnote, both Morton and Hounsou have received deserved Oscar nominations this year for their roles.

Rated PG, In America is an ideal film for any audience.  Kids will be entertained and adults touched by the story being told.  There’s a little “magic” in the air.