Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 12 April 2001

The script is pitiful and I will name both Matthew Berry and Eric Abrams as those responsible (along with Paul Hogan) in the hope they will never work in Hollywood again.  In this “adventure”, Mick Dundee (Hogan) and his long time companion Sue Charlton (Kozlowski) now own a pub in the Northern Territory outback.  Sue gets a call from her father asking her to come to Los Angeles for a few weeks.  It seems an employee at his publishing company has died and he needs Sue to fill in while he looks for a permanent replacement.

So off they head to L.A. with their son Mike (played by George Negus’s 9-year-old son Serge Cockburn).  Once there, Sue quickly picks up the pieces and uncovers a big story (believe it or not).  A string of really bad movies are being made by a new studio company.  The first film flopped, the sequel went straight to video and somehow a third movie is in the works.  Curious as to how the studio can remain open, Sue investigates, uncovers a conspiracy and with Mick going undercover as an extra in the film, she’ll soon find out the truth behind the mystery.

With every film like this I see, I develop an even bigger appreciation for the Austin Powers films.  I don’t know why film studios pursue with over the top supervillans given that Dr. Evil has taken the mickey out of all those that have gone before.  Somehow, these ludicrous storylines continue to haunt us as seen here and in the recent Miss Congeniality.

I am not taking this film too seriously.  Anyone who says “oh, it’s just a bit of fun” deserves a slap across the face and a good hosing down.  When someone makes a bad joke, you don’t laugh just because you’re supposed to.  I never laughed once and there were stages in the first half hour where I was tempted to just get up and walk out (for those that have seen the film, a scene in a spa bath caps off what I’m talking about).  The acting was dreadful and the jokes so lame.  Spontaneity has no meaning.

Don’t even get me started on the culture issue.  Australians do not walk around in akubras all day.  Australians do not wrestle crocodiles for a living.  Australians do not serve nothing but beer in pubs.  Australians are not idiots who cannot understand anything about America.  Do we feel satisfied portraying such an image to the world?  Maybe ten years ago but aren’t we better than that now.

If you need supporting evidence, check out the documentary, Cunnamulla, which screened recently in Brisbane.  Could you imagine how shocked Americans would be to find out what really goes on the outback.  Desolate towns filled with doll bludgers, deadbeats, criminals and 13-year-olds having sex.  That is our true culture, whether we like it or not.

That is all I have to say.  I am sorry to have wasted your time in having to read this but it serves a purpose - to make sure you don’t see Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles.  I rest my case.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 12 April 2001

In this story, the sweet and innocent Gilly Noble (Klein) is just looking for that perfect girl who’ll give him goosebumps all over.  At the local hairdresser, he meets Jo Wingfield (Graham) and they are a perfect match.  That is until Jo accidentally chops off Gilly’s ear when giving him a haircut.  Oh well, all is forgiven and six months pass before they take the big plunge and consummate their relationship.

Things go askew when a friend of Gilly believes he’s finally tracked down his natural birth mother and her name is Valdine Wingfield (Field), Jo’s mother.  Given that she’s just “poked” her own brother, Jo flees to Oregon to be with her wealthy ex-boyfriend Mark (Cibrian).

Time passes and out of the blue, a mysterious gentleman arrives on the Wingfield’s doorstep who has validation that he is the Wingfield’s lost son.  Now that the horrible misunderstanding has been cleared up, Gilly tries to track down Jo to tell her the good news but just about everyone is standing in his way...

This is cheap, tiresome crap that isn’t close to being funny.  There’s a great scene at the start with the family around the dinner table but that was the lone moment bringing a smile to my face.  Other “jokes” include Gilly mistakenly getting a blow-job from a cat and Gilly getting his arm stuck in the ass of a cow.

Say It Isn’t So is lacklustre and like a broken coke machine, takes your money and gives nothing in return.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 12 April 2001

Annie Wilson (Blanchett) is such a person.  Her husband died over a year ago and she’s been left struggling to raise her three sons since.  Social security isn’t sufficient for her family to survive on and so she tells peoples fortunes using special cards to provide additional income.  Annie has little standing in the community with most believing her to be a hoax.

So when Annie unearths Jessica’s body in the lake of local womaniser Donnie Barksdale (Reeves) accusations start flying.  How did Annie know the body was there?  Did she have it in for Donnie as she knew he was beating his wife Valerie (Swank)?  How can you convict someone of the crime if the only witness wasn’t even there?

Everyone’s a suspect and the screenplay is designed to give you that impression.  All have a motive and it’s why the film is unsatisfying.  Once the killer was revealed, I felt cheated and disenchanted.  It’s a shame since The Gift was thrilling to watch in the lead up.

A captivatingly dark film, director Sam Raimi (A Simple Plan, The Quick And The Dead) isn’t helped by his cast.  Cate Blanchett stands out and proves she is the world’s best actress at the moment.  Having been robbed by Gwyneth Paltrow at the Oscars two years ago for her performance in Elizabeth, Blanchett has showed her range in Pushing Tin, The Talented Mr. Ripley and An Ideal Husband.  However, the remaining cast members are typecast play uncreative standardised roles.  Keanu Reeves is the bad guy, Greg Kinnear is the good guy and Giovanni Ribisi is the strange guy.

Katie Holmes shows intelligence for not succumbing to the fate of other young TV stars and starring in teen romantic comedies.  She will probably be remember most for bearing her breasts in this film but given her performance both here and in last year’s Wonder Boys add to the impressive resume of a 22-year-old.  Let’s just forget Teaching Mrs. Tingle ever happened.

Credit for the spine tingling score goes to Christopher Young (Rounders, Copycat) for it.  Few understand that to add to the suspense of a good thriller, you need to have the music peak and trough at just the right times.  Psycho or Jaws are famous examples.  Ever so subtly, Young increases the tension already generated by Raimi which makes it’s hard to look away.

The Gift is a spooky mix of reality and the supernatural.  The possibility existed for a uniquely spellbinding view but does degenerate by following Hollywood conventions and formulas.  It could have been and should have been much better.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 05 April 2001

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has introduced a new category into its annual Academy Awards starting in 2002 for best animated full-length feature.  It stems from the fact that so many good animations are created and aren't considered by Academy voters because they don't feature real people.  The only animated film ever to be nominated for best picture was 1991's Beauty And The Beast.  The award’s inception is sure to increase both the quantity and quality of animations in years to come.

Traditionally, Disney has monopolised the market but given their appeal, the last five years has seen most leading film studios hunting for a slice of the very sweet pie.  For the first time in a decade, Disney did not release an animated film in the last American summer (choosing instead to release the computer animated Dinosaur) and the viewing calendar was lacking.  Instead, December saw the release of the Emperor's New Groove and finally in Australia, we have the chance to check it out.

This fun-loving tale sees Emperor Kuzco preparing celebrations for his own 18th birthday party.  He's spoilt rotten and given his position, has everything his own way.  His adviser, Yzma, has been getting a little power hungry of late so she was promptly fired.  Yzma retaliates and prepares a potion that will kill the emperor but thanks to her idiotic husband/assistant, Kronk, he is transformed into a llama. 

Asked to take the llama out of town to kill, Kronk again makes a mess of things and the llama escapes on the wagon of a distant villager, Pacha.  Pacha isn't a fan of the emperor given that he intends to demolish his house to build a holiday home (complete with a waterslide) and is amused to see the emperor in his new condition.  This gives him an opportunity to negotiate a deal.  He'll help the emperor get back to his castle for the potion that can re-transform him but in return he'll have to find a new location for his holiday home.  And so, the adventure begins...

Narration of films is an often dangerous technique.  Some films are wrecked by voice-overs but for others, it adds to the experience.  David Spade voices Emperor Kuzco and also provides the narration throughout the film.  I can't recall anyone being as good as Spade in any previous film.  He’s side-splittingly hilarious and combined with animation, his character is one of the funniest Disney has created.  Other voices include Spade's Just Shoot Me co-star Wendie Malick, John Goodman, The Dish's Patrick Warburton and Eartha Kitt.

Judging by the laughter of both the adults and children at the advance screening I attended, The Emperor's New Groove hits the mark.  Many recent animations have had few jokes for the kids but this film had them laughing constantly at the idea of an arrogant talking llama and I too was laughing with them.  If you're thinking "there's no way I'm going to see a kids flick" then it is time to wake-up.  If it's that embarrassing, find some kid of a friend or relative and take them with you.  You'll score brownie points whilst having a great time in the process.  Who said babysitting was a chore?

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 12 April 2001

That’s all I’ll reveal.  I’d heard so little about the film and had never seen a trailer.  The film had its world premiere at the Venice Film Festival last September and followed that up with a screening in Toronto.  It’s had a very limited release in the States and similarly in Australia, it’s screening on only a few selected screens.

I’m not sure why this is so because the film is brilliant and rivals the shocking twists and turns of The Sixth Sense.  The style is unique and you’ll know what I mean within seconds of the opening credits.  Never before has a thriller left me thinking throughout the entire film and just like Leonard, we too will be wondering about his past.  I thought I’d figured the mystery out after 34 minutes (I looked at my watch) but I couldn’t have been more wrong.  It will leave you thinking many hours after you see it.

That is not to say the screenplay is flawless.  How can he remember he has a memory problem in the first place?  How does he remember where he’s going when he’s driving?  How does he remember to look in his pockets for photographs that help him remember?  The more you think about it, the more inconsistencies you’ll come across and unfortunately it stops the film from achieving “masterpiece” quality.  The concept, whilst fascinating, is just too difficult to make the story truly believable.

30-year-old Christopher Nolan is both writer and director and his first “big time” production will guarantee him a certain future.  He’s already signed with Warner Bros. to direct a thriller starring Al Pacino, Robin Williams and Hilary Swank which has George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh as executive producers.  That says something and shows I’m not alone in praising Nolan’s talent.

Memento is a simple story.  When you break it down, there are just a handful of characters at a handful of locations.  But like a good joke, it’s how you tell it that’s important.  Just wait till you see how this story is told.

“Don’t believe his lies.”