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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 18 October 2001

The “story” revolves around Professor Oldman (Curry) assembling a group of students to stay in a haunted house.  I won’t say any more for fear of giving the impression that the film has a plot.

Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans and Anna Faris return from the original and are joined by a few newcomers and few Hollywood veterans.  James Woods opens the film with a take-off of The Exorcist.  Marlon Brando was originally cast in the role but when taken ill, Woods filled his shoes.  A stroke of luck for Mr. Brando I’m sure.

A sampling of this films spoofed are Dude, Where’s My Car?, Save The Last Dance, What Lies Beneath, Hollow Man, Titanic, Romeo & Juliet, Hannibal, Charlie’s Angels and even the game-show, The Weakest Link.  You’ll notice that none of the above are teen horror flicks which again shows the stupidity of this production.  As I said, all the good material was used in the first film.

At only 82 minutes, it’s a crime to think that the public should have to pay full price.  The Exorcist opening itself is eight minutes and when you throw in five minutes worth of credits, just how much are you actually getting?  To make matters worse, jokes from the original Scary Movie were used again here.  Very ordinary.  Comfortably, one of the worst films of the year.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 04 October 2001

Naturally, this doesn't go down well with the studio.  Since the separation, neither has made a successful movie and executive Dave Kingman (Tucci) has his head in a noose.  Just prior to the break-up, he had perfectionist director Hal Wiedmann (Walken) make a film starring the duo but it still hasn’t been completed with Wiedmann agonising over the finishing touches.  With his career in the balance, Kingman gets marketing guru Lee Phillips (Crystal), with whom he has a rocky friendship, to pull off the promotional scam of a lifetime.

Phillips prepares a press junket (where the press come and meet the stars) and in the process gives the press something to talk about.  As the saying goes, “any publicity is good publicity” and Phillips is an expert in making it.  But there’s still the challenging task of getting Gwen and Eddie back together.  It’s going to take the help of a few friends, a little luck, and Gwen's sister/servant Kiki (Roberts).

Given that it involves the industry itself, I’m surprised to have waited this long to see a film with such a plot.  Billy Crystal is a co-writer of the script and I'm his insight (as well as that from other cast members) is what makes this film so interesting.  Sure it has the tacky and predictable romantic “three way” subplot but the overall package is worth seeing.

Julia Roberts is outstanding and her performance reminiscent of her star turn in Notting Hill.  She is merely a supporting character in the ensemble piece but I prefer the innocent/unsure Julia to the outspoken/bold Julia (Erin Brockovich, The Mexican).  Catherine Zeta-Jones is also terrific as the snobby screen actress who's always thinking of herself.  Zeta-Jones's public image and earlier films have given the real press plenty to criticise but with this following her eye catching part in the award winning Traffic, she has suddenly found credibility.  It comes as no surprise though to see John Cusack is fine comedic and despite a lukewarm opening, Billy Crystal comes through with the goods.

It's always difficult assembling a big name cast but I'm sure Crystal and director Joe Roth had no trouble with this refreshingly honest screenplay.  It’s funny to think that this story is only a blip on the surface of what really goes down in Hollywood.  Does anyone want to take this concept a step further?

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 11 October 2001

In Kiss Of The Dragon, Liu Jian (Li) has been sent to Paris as China’s representative in an investigation involving an Asian drug ring operating in France.  Liu soon finds it’s the French who can’t be trusted with Inspector Richard (Karyo) intending to frame him to shirk attention from Richard’s own involvement in whatever he is concealing.

Richard’s clean cover is blown however when his henchman accidentally tape him shooting a powerful Chinese drug dealer.  As you’d expect, Liu gets his hands on the videotape giving him leverage but Richard will use every resource at his disposal to stop Liu from exposing the truth.  When Liu forms a friendship with prostitute Jessica (Fonda), he finds that her own connection with Richard might give him the edge as the tension escalates even further...

That’s my best effort to explain a story that makes very little sense.  There are two major action scenes to open the flick and they disguise the fact the story isn’t developed.  We’re not told why Liu has been sent to China, who he’s working for or what he’s there to uncover.  Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention?  I sure ain’t going back again to find out.

Looking particularly at the action itself – it’s pathetic.  There were several moments where it was clear that body contact wasn’t made and you’d think that with a $25m budget, they’d have the resources to get it right.  I’m also at a loss to explain Liu’s mysterious technique of using acupuncture to subdue his enemies.  Someone may have to explain that to me also.

Whilst my review for Rush Hour 2 several weeks ago may appear to contradict the stance I’m taking here, there’s a big difference in what both films had to offer.  Rush Hour 2 was about comedy but Kiss Of The Dragon is about nothing.  There is no suspense, no thought process, and no point at all to go and see it.  I wasted my Saturday night so please make sure you don’t do the same.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 27 September 2001

The chief suspect is Ricky Tan (Lone) who was responsible for the death of Lee’s father five years earlier.  Lee’s never been able to nail Tan, the head of the Triad gang, but this could be the opportunity if he can find hard evidence that he was responsible.  However Tan is killed by a female advisari, Hu Lu (Zhang) and the case flips upside down.  Just who is running the Triad and why were the secret service agents targeted?

Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker are two of the most limited actors in Hollywood.  Chan has few acting skills and is a glamorised stunt man.  Tucker is politically incorrect and his sarcastically negative sense of humour wears very thin.  Yet when working together, they pull out enough jokes and action to keep Rush Hour 2 on the tracks.  Standing out from the cast is Ziyi Zhang.  Having burst onto the scene with her award winning role in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, her remarkable martial art skills have rocketed her to stardom - she’s awesome. 

It’s becoming a monotonous feature of all Chan movies but once again the funniest moment of the film are the out-takes shown during the closing credits.  The last two in particular (one involving a mobile phone and the other a reference to Rush Hour 3) easily gathered the most laughter from the audience.  Sure it’s nice to finish on a positive note but it illustrates that an actor’s ability to improvise is often overlooked in sticking strictly to a screenwriter’s script.

Yep it’s an old-fashioned action flick full of holes but its fun and much improved on the recent action line-up.  Remarkably similar to the original, it’ll please any who enjoyed Rush Hour 2’s predecessor.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 11 October 2001

Legally Blonde is conventional by Reese’s standards.  A popular socialite, Elle Woods (Witherspoon) is preparing to graduate (as a fashion major) from college.  Her boyfriend, Warner (Davis) has asked her to dinner to discuss their future and Elle expects this to be the moment where she’ll get that glistening ring on her finger.  Wrong.  Warner, like his father before him, wants to run for office and he feels he’ll have no chance with a ditsy blonde as a wife.  He needs someone more serious and it’s time to break up.

Determined to prove him wrong, Elle regroups and pulls out the grades (plus a little extra) to receive an offer to attend Harvard’s exclusive law school, coincidentally the same school Warner is attending.  At first, Elle’s “blondness” and outgoing nature ostracises her from the other students but Harvard soon finds out that not all blondes are dumb and there are some who shouldn’t be underrated.

A departure from her usual style, Reese chose the script for Legally Blonde because she saw it as “an opportunity for me to try and reach more people”.  Reese concedes that “today, it matters how many people see your movies” and despite critical acclaim for her previous works, she is yet to have a film explode at the box-office.  Legally Blonde became Reese’s first number 1 hit and its $20m opening outdueled the new DeNiro/Brando crime thriller, The Score.  Yet another feather in her hat.

As for the film, this feel good fairy tale stretches its point a little too far for my liking.  Reese’s characters (and wardrobe) in itself tells you that the film is only meant to be light-hearted fun but so much of it seems manufactured to please.  The jokes, the plot and the ending are too predictable and I much preferred the darker nuances of Election.

An experiment with mixed results, Legally Blonde has certainly pushed Mrs Phillippe into the spotlight.  She’ll next appear beside Messrs Everett, Firth, O’Connor and Dench in The Importance of Being Earnest.  Another intelligent career move which I guess shows that sometimes blondes do have more fun.