Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 11 January 2001

Using digital television, they are going to take themselves into the human world.  Once there, they will take over television networks and create television shows so bad, audiences will become mindless zombies.  The Fearless Leader will then have total control over their helpless minds making him a shoe-in to become the new U.S. president.

FBI agent Karen Sympathy (Perabo) has been assigned to case of stopping the Fearless Leader and knows there are only two “people” who can stop him.  Using technology of her own, she brings Rocky and Bullwinkle to life and they begin a road trip across America to get to New York in time to stop these villains.  It won't be an easy journey with Boris and Natasha following them all the way.

The animation is great and it's an interesting concept but there isn't a lot to laugh about in The Adventures Of Rocky And Bullwinkle.  The screenplay is from upcoming talent Kenneth Longergan (You Can Count Of Me, Analyze This) but you get the feeling it tries to be a little too smart for its own good.

The film has been a big underachiever in the U.S. which exemplifies its lack of a target audience.  Clearly the best aspect of the film is Piper Perabo who is really dazzling on screen and has followed this film with the recently released Coyote Ugly.  She'll be one to watch in the future.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 04 January 2001

15 years pass and memories are starting to fade of a world that once was.  Cole (Damon), one of the survivors, is now a reckless 19-year-old working on a space colony.  His father also escaped Earth but the two were separated and no word has been heard of him since.  Cole's father piloted a vessel known as the Titan to the far reaches of the galaxy with the power of regenerating and saving the human race.

Cole knows nothing of this until informed by space traveller Korso (Pullman).  Korso has in his possession a magic ring that when placed on Cole's hand, shows the way to where the Titan is hidden.  Together with another human crew member, Akima (Barrymore), and a bizarre alien crew, they venture into the unknown to await their destiny.

Titan A.E. is the second film from the newly formed 20th Century Fox Animation following the 1997 release of Anastasia.  Times sure have changed in the animation world.  I can remember Anastasia's release was much anticipated as it represented the first company other than Disney to create a big animated blockbuster.  Titan A.E. cost a rumoured $75m with its high-tech computer animation but sadly has recouped little at the box-office.

As always, the animation is high-class and the voices well cast.  It seems your aren't a Hollywood star these days unless you've done a voice in an animated flick and adding their talents to this film are the likes of Matt Damon, Drew Barrymore, Bill Pullman, John Leguizamo, Janeane Garofalo and Nathan Lane.  The only major problem with the film is that it doesn't appear to have a target audience.  It is violent and complex (including a few subtitles) which makes it inappropriate for small children and yet it's hard to see adults paying $12 when the likes of Meet The Parents and What Women Want are screening in the cinema next door.

The script has depth.  Whilst it doesn't rival recent hits such as Toy Story 2 and Chicken Run and doesn't feature an array of musical numbers, the story will hold your attention.  It borrows from a mixture of science fiction classics including Star Wars and Alien and there's plenty of action and galactic chases.

Bound to gather a cult following rather than perform at the box-office, Titan A.E. shows that computer generated films can be targeted at an older audience.  But just like we've asked ourselves before, is anyone really watching out there?

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 11 January 2001

On his introductory tour are boyfriend and girlfriend, Stephen and Tristine, a "witch" named Erica and a gothic named Kim.  Following the tradition of the original, most all characters have the same first name in real life.  Out they set and of course things get scary and nasty.  They wake up following their first night of the trip and all their equipment and gear has been trashed.  However, the tape from the video camera filming overnight has been left and should hold all the answers.  Retreating to Jeff's secluded home, things get even stranger when the tape is watched…

It so happens that another tour group was murdered that night in the Burketsville woods and Jeff, Stephen, Tristine, Erica and Kim are leading suspects and told not to leave town.  When the five start seeing things in Jeff's house, no one is sure what they are seeing and who to trust.

Again, I must emphasise that this film is total fiction and there is no such town as Burketsville.  Sorry if I'm destroying the legend but I think most people by now know the story is garbage.  Book Of Shadows is very poorly made.  It opens interestingly with a look at how successful the original became and it was a nice touch to see film critic Roger Ebert on screen.

What followed was total lunacy.  Nothing seemed to make sense.  They were constant flashes to murderous scenes all through the movie that were never explained.  The whole witchcraft theme was laughable and the ending was so incomprehensible, it's not worth describing.  I remember sitting in the cinema waiting for the experience to end but even I was shocked at how abruptly the film concluded.

The Blair Witch Project cost a mere $35,000 and grossed over $140m in the United States alone.  The spare change left over from the original helped spawn this $15m sequel.  I guess it goes to show that money doesn't always make a difference.  What a shame the mystique of the original has been tarnished with this utter crap.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 01 January 2001

Violet Sanford (Perabo) lives in New Jersey with her father Bill (Goodman) but has decided it’s time to move on.  She’s found a small pad in New York City where she can establish herself and try to make it as a songwriter.  Violet can sing beautifully but suffers from stage fright, as did her late mother, and her phobia limits her opportunities.

Desperate for a job, she sees three beautiful girls in a cafe laughing, giggling and flashing around $50 bills they had made the night previous.  She overhears they’re waitresses at a bar known as Coyote Ugly and a position will be available within a week.  Too good to be true?

Approaching the bar’s owner, Violet gets the job but it’s not what she expected.  The girls sing and dance on the bar, shower customers with water and ice and stay open until dawn.  She soon catches the drift though, fits right in and meets the dream guy.  You can’t have a movie however without adversities and yes, they’re just around the corner...

Very disappointing is an apt description for Coyote Ugly.  Every time I felt the film getting on track, it derailed yet again - it just couldn’t get passed second base.  John Goodman stands out like a beacon as the only cast member who can truly act.  He has less screen time than anyone but manages to produce the most laughs, if the audience at my screening were anything to go by.

Of the remaining cast, Piper Perabo indicates that she will be a leading actress of the future.  The first question that came to mind though was whether that was her singing all those songs in the movie? Sadly, the answer is no.  In fact, the songs are performed by LeAnn Rimes.  In hindsight, it explains why Rimes has a cameo in the final two minutes.  Perhaps they should have found an actress who can sing to play the leading role.  Think back to Jane Horrocks performance in Little Voice.

Australian Adam Garcia plays the boyfriend in what can only be described as a mind-numbingly awful performance.  So many of his lines are forced and appear as if they’ve been read straight of an auto cue.  Perhaps he felt the same dissatisfaction with the script as I did.

Coyote Ugly is produced by Jerry Bruckheimer - the same guy who made Bad Boys, The Rock, Con Air, Armageddon and Gone In 60 Seconds.  Whilst it’s a step away from his traditional “action” theme, not much has changed in terms of quality (that’s bad).  Let’s look at the film’s PG rating as an illustration.  Despite half the movie being set in a bar, there is no bad language whatsoever.  I’m not sure what world Jerry Bruckheimer is from but it ain’t this one.  His softening of the film from an M to a PG rating has done nothing but expand the number of possible audience members.  To jeopardise the whole movie for the sake of a few bucks - that takes a lot of class.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 11 January 2001

Surprise!  The job has gone to Darcy McGuire (Hunt) who has come from another top firm with the reputation of being a hard-nosed bitch.  Women are now the significant target in the advertising market and Dan doesn’t believe Nick has the touch to develop the firm in that area.

In her introductory address, Darcy gives the staff a chance to impress.  She gives everyone a box of women’s products that require advertising ideas.  To show he still has what it takes, Nick decides to try a few of the products - lipstick, eye shadow, pantyhose...  However, in a drunken state, Nick falls into the bathtub with the hairdryer.  When he wakes up the next morning, something is different - he can hear what women think.

Stunned at first, the advice of a marriage counsellor (Midler) puts him on track.  As she says, “if you know what women want...the world can be yours”.  Think of the possibilities.

Bottom line, What Women Want should be taken with a grain of salt.  I could begin a deep psychological discussion on what both women and men think or I could ask everyone to read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.  It’s worthy subject material but is not treated seriously in this film.

Mel Gibson is a stereotypical male bastard who treats women like dirt until he sees the light through this special gift.  For some reason, in this large session in which I saw the film, women were crazy about the film.  They loved seeing Mel Gibson transform and win the hearts of all women.  Sadly, that’s all the film really offers so please advise boyfriends to stay at home.

Of most interest from a male perspective are the workings of the firm and the final product that both Nick and Darcy show to Nike executives.  Those being picky (such as myself) will see the obvious flaws.  How is it that the thoughts heard are only selective - surely women think about more things?  The film’s conclusion was also poor.  Without revealing too much, why didn’t Darcy ask Nick how he knew her thoughts?

Sure it’s meant to be a light-hearted comedy and I confess I did laugh occasionally but there wasn’t enough to material to hold my attention for over two hours.  If you take a look at Nancy Meyer’s previous efforts, Father Of The Bride, Father Of The Bride II and The Parent Trap, you know you’re in for a “rosy and fluffy" ride.  Honestly, would anyone really want to know what women think?  If we all knew what each other thought, life would be pretty boring.  Then again, I could have seen this coming and braced myself for the experience...