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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 30 November 2000

Theodore Seuss Geisel (aka Dr. Suess) was a brilliant writer responsible for many books and poems read, remembered and loved by kids around the world.  The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and The Cat In The Hat are perhaps his best-known works and who can honestly say they’ve never read them?

The town of Who-ville treasures each Christmas as a time to celebrate and give gifts.  Legend has it that an old “grinch” lives high in the mountains and hasn’t been seen since spoiling Christmas many years ago.  When it’s time to present Mayor May Who’s annual Christmas award to the person most in need of Christmas cheer, young Cindy Lou Who nominates none other than the Grinch.

Cindy climbs high in the mountains to bring Christmas cheer but the Grinch is unmoved and has plans to spend the holiday wallowing in his own misery.  But the thought of an award grabs his attention - if he’s the winner than that means there must be losers.  Perhaps Christmas may not be so bad after all.  Returning to the town proves a bad idea and the Grinch is ridiculed and left grinchier than ever.  There’s only one way of making sure something like this never happens again - to steal Christmas.

I was stunned by the beauty Ron Howard (Apollo 13) has drawn from Dr Seuss’s writings.  The costumes, sets and cinematography are unrivalled on screen this year.  Head make-up artist Rick Baker has won 5 Academy Awards and will be a 100-1 on favourite next year - it’s amazing the detail he has gone to.  Baker has signed on to Tim Burton’s new Planet Of The Apes remake in 2001 - he sure likes picking tough challenges.  No cast member is recognisable and more time must have been spent in chairs rather than filming this production. 

It cannot be denied that Jim Carrey has the broadest range of any current actor.  If you told me that Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, The Truman Show, Man On The Moon and The Grinch all starred the same actor, I say you were a Liar, Liar.  Every time I review a Jim Carrey movie I say that I couldn’t see any other actor playing the role and not to reiterate myself but ditto again for The Grinch.  Just how does he do it?

With Christmas just weeks away, it’s the perfect movie to take the kids and spread some Christmas cheer.  It’s not a dark film by any means and children will love The Grinch as he is won over and changed by young Cindy and her message that Christmas is not just about giving presents.

As the best family movie in years, don't pass up a chance to see The Grinch.  Just take the kids, it’ll be a cinch.  Beautifully narrated by Anthony Hopkins and filled with lyrical rhyme, for the first time this season I felt in festive chime.  So take the opportunity and answer the call.  To end, I wish a Merry Christmas to all.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 23 November 2000

Diana (Rodriguez) is a tough girl in her final year of high school.  Home life has been tough since her mother passed away several years earlier and her father’s always shown favour for her younger brother Tiny (Santiago).  Tiny is given $10 a week by his father for boxing lessons and Diana resents the treatment Tiny receives.

At the gym one day, Diana finds the best way to express herself is in the boxing ring.  Hector (Tirelli), the boxing coach, is hesitant but sees talent in Diana and agrees to let her train if she’ll put in the effort.  All this is going on behind the back of her father and Diana will have a hard time keeping it from him.

Has the whole world gone topsy-turvy?  If any of this seems vaguely familiar, one need only recall Billy Elliot.  Instead of a boy learning ballet, we have a girl learning boxing and both are battling the odds and the wishes of their parent.  Girlfight is a tough, gritty look at boxing but like Billy Elliot is more a study of people and the things that drive them.

Michelle Rodriguez has come from obscurity for her first film role.  The role requires both acting ability and supreme physical strength and few would have met the criteria.  You clearly see Michelle bulking up as her training regime increases. It’s the great interaction between Michelle and other cast members that makes the film.  Karyn Kusama’s direction of the boxing scenes and Theodore Shapiro’s music score are highlights that shouldn’t go unnoticed.

Once again illustrating the importance of storytelling, Girlfight has it all - action, laughter, romance and drama mixed with a dash of realism.  All’s fair in love and boxing.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 23 November 2000

It doesn’t take long for Keane to find someone new when he sights a dashing young lady, Charlotte Fielding (Ryder), celebrating her 22nd birthday in his restaurant.  Even more surprising is that she is the daughter of a former flame from many years ago.  Will’s friends are joking with him regarding the age difference but both seem to like each other and soon they find themselves falling in love.

Love in movies is never easy and soon we find Charlotte is suffering from a tumour in her heart and has less than a year to live.  This comes as a shock to Will and his theory of loving and leaving women is going to put to the test...

Romantic dramas are designed to move people but I can honestly say my facial expression did not alter for the entire 105 minutes.  Evidence of romance between Gere and Ryder was lacking and it seemed a poor casting choice.  The supporting stars, including Anthony LaPaglia, Sherry Stringfield and Mary Beth Hurt, offer little to help the story.  The subplots that have been accommodated into the main story and equally less interesting and confusingly resolved.

Joan Chen is an accomplished actress and has shown directorial ability before (in The Sent Down Girl) but this is a very weak effort.  All the picturesque shots of New York are mundane and of particular note, the big romance scene between Ryder and Gere in the bedroom is bewilderingly shot.

When released in the United States, MGM refused to screen the film to critics prior to its release and in anyone’s book, that’s a bad sign.  If the film was worth recommending, the studio would be dying for critics to see it to generate positive word and Oscar hype.  When a film costs $40m and has even the studio running scared, you know you’ve got problems.  At least now, I know for sure.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 23 November 2000

With all the movies I’ve seen, there are plenty of great stories to tell.  At a screening of Very Bad Things, the projector was too low and in several scenes boom mikes were visible at the top.  At a screening of The Green Mile, two reels were played out of order leaving the audience in a very confused state.  At a screening of The Mighty, I was the only one in the cinema and yet a Hoyts attendant with a food tray stood down front for ten minutes during the trailers in the hope someone would buy something.

In the words of Magnolia, “this was not just one of those things”.  How many times have you seen a film so bad that you were left laughing uncontrollably?  How many times have you seen film where you spent more time with your hands over your eyes than looking at the screen?  How many times have you seen a film where an audience member screamed out in full voice, “Fuck, how did that get past the censors?”, not once but twice?

Kevin And Perry Go Large is based on an English television show with Harry Enfield and Kathy Burke starring as two hideously ugly teenagers looking to get laid.  When they read in a porno that everyone sleeps with everyone in Ibiza, they’re soon on their way.

Mr. Cranky is a favourite critic on mine in that every film receives a rating from one bomb to five bombs.  Just recently, a sixth bomb was introduced with the caption “proof that Jesus died in vein”.  Whilst Mr. Cranky has had the good fortune not to have seen Kevin And Perry Go Large, I feel I can carry the flame and describe the film as such.

I would love to elaborate on all the gross and disgusting scenes but the conclusion should put just the right picture in your mind.  Perry videotapes Kevin’s parents having sex “bondage” style.  He then takes the tape, becomes horny and gets large (that’s the film’s term for an erection).  The tape is then accidentally seen by one of Ibiza’s top DJs who uses it to accompany a mix put together by Kevin and Perry to screen for thousands at a nightclub and can I add that Kevin’s parents also happen to be there.

If this sounds like your kind of movie, please tell me and I will make sure I never speak to you again.  It is one of life’s great tragedies to see 36-year-old Kathy Burke in her role as Perry.  Three years ago she won the best actress award at Cannes (for Nil By Mouth) and now she is playing a 15-year-old teenager joking about erections, acne and ejaculation.  This was truly painful and the memories will be hard to erase.  To think that Billy Elliot was screening in the cinema next door.  My most favoured and least favoured films of 2000 screening side-by-side with a two-foot thick wall in between.  Unfortunately, I was on the wrong side.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 23 November 2000

It kicks off from the opening scene when we see Natalie (Diaz), Dylan (Barrymore) and Alex (Liu) defuse an impossible situation aboard an airliner.  They come from varied backgrounds but have been recruited by the reclusive Charlie to carry out world-saving assignments.  Their contact with Charlie is through “middleman” Bosley (Murray) who is little more than an aging womaniser.

The latest assignment will be a tough one.  They are approached by vixen Vivian Wood (Lynch) when a millionaire scientist, Eric Knox (Rockwell), is kidnapped.  Knox had developed a revolutionary computer program with the ability to remember and replicate any voice it hears.  In the wrong hands, it could be used to manipulate global satellites and throw the world into chaos.  Oh no!

The Angels’ are hungry for some lovin’ but have to forego relationships with their boyfriends (Tom Green, Luke Wilson and Matt LeBlanc) until they track down the kidnappers and generally “kick ass”.  If you wish to continue, please read on.

Bottom line, you can’t describe Charlie’s Angels without using “popcorn” and “movie” together in the same sentence - you know exactly what you’re in for when you buy that ticket.  The strongest feature comes from the brisk pace it sets.  Action is prominent and time is not wasted on trivial side characters, awful dialogue and attempts to bring authenticity to the script (a pitfall many recent action films have fallen victim too).

Diaz, Barrymore and Liu must have had a ball and their effervescence shows.  Instead of playing perfect tough gals, they show a hilarious ditsy side in many scenes with particular praise going to Cameron Diaz.  They know it’s all for fun and don’t try to take it any further.  Disappointingly, more wasn’t made of Bill Murray.  The comedic genius seemed too tightly bound by the script and Murray wasn’t given the flexibility to show his great talent, improvisation.

First-time director Joseph McGinty Nichol is simply known in the credits as McG and I’m at a loss to understand why.  His direction of Charlie’s Angels shows he has talent though and his boldness should be rewarded with future projects.  Credit is also due to the special effects team and editors Peter Teschner and Wayne Wahrman who have created the best action sequences since The Matrix.

This is not the sort of film I endorse nor would I see it a second time.  Still, if tacky action films need be made you may as well go the whole way and Charlie’s Angels fits the bill.  Given its huge success in the United States and the lack of decent scripts, one feels a sequel will be just around the corner.  I may save my scathing review for then.