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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 08 August 2021

Some will be familiar with the reality television series Ice Road Truckers that ran for 11 seasons between 2007 and 2017.  It followed a group of truck drivers who, needing to access remote parts of North America during winter, would drive their heavy vehicles on frozen lakes and rivers.  It’s an occupation that is both fascinating and scary.  I don’t know if I’d have the nerve to do it!

It was only a matter of time before the idea was used in a Hollywood feature film and, having seen him successfully operate a snowplow in 2019’s Cold Pursuit, it seems fitting that action-hero Liam Neeson steps into the shoes of the lead character.  He plays Mike McCann, an American truck driver who could use some extra cash to look after his brother (Thomas) who is struggling from aphasia after several years in the military.

There’s been a mine explosion in northern Canada which has trapped roughly 20 miners in a tunnel below the surface.  The only way to get them out is with a special welding machine and about 300 feet of pipe.  The equipment is too heavy to fly in by plane and so, a group of 4 drivers are offered a lucrative contract of $50,000 each to transport it from the United States to Canada via truck.  Nice work if you can get it, right?

Well, not quite.  There are two problems.  Firstly, this is taking place in April and with the warmer temperatures starting to unfreeze/weaken the ice, this is not the time of year you want to be taking trucks with heavy loads on frozen rivers.  Secondly, there’s no alternative because the clock is ticking.  Corporate big-wigs know the trapped miners have limited air supply and so the drivers must take the shortest routes and go as fast as possible or else their rescue efforts will be pointless.

It’s a decent idea for a movie and there’s enough realism in the opening half to make this a suspenseful action-thriller.  It’s not all smooth sailing (as you’d expect) and this diverse group of drivers must navigate their way out of tricky scenarios.  I enjoyed watching them discuss their backgrounds, the risks of what they do, and then the fast-paced nature of their decision-making process.  When the ice is breaking up beneath them, there’s no time for doubt and hesitation.

Regrettably, the film loses its way in the second half and degenerates into a non-sensical, cliché-laden mess filled cheesy villains and dumb motives.  That’s as much as I can without giving away spoilers.  The dialogue falls away also and it reaches the point where Neeson says to a co-worker – “It’s not about a money now.  This is personal.”

Writer-director Jonathan Hensleigh has a history of penning popular action movies including Jumanji (the 1995 original), Armageddon, The Punisher and Welcome to the Jungle.  The Ice Road starts promisingly but lacks the stamina to go the full distance.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 19 July 2021

Underappreciated – it’s a feeling we’ve all experienced in varying degrees.  It’s certainly front of mind for the title character in this new Spanish comedy from director Icíar Bollaín (Take My Eyes, The Olive Tree).  Rosa (Peña) is a 45-year-old single mother/grandmother who has given up so much helping others, she never has any time to invest in her own health and well-being.

A reason she is so often called upon is because she isn’t married and lives alone.  When her brother (Armando) is spending late nights in the office, he gets Rosa to look after his kids, make them dinner, and get them to bed on time.  When her widowed father (Barea) needs to go to medical appointments, Rosa is always the one called upon because her other two siblings use dubious excuses to indicate they’re “too busy”.

The same applies at work where Rosa is a costume designer for locally made films.  She gets minimal pay and is seldom recognised for the immensely long hours put in to make sure every costume looks right and fits perfectly.  She’s long dreamed of opening her own clothing design business but she lacks the start-up capital and support to get it off the ground.

Rosa’s supressed frustration finally comes out into the open when she makes a life-changing decision – to get married.  There’s a catch though.  She’s not marrying anyone else but rather, she’s marrying herself.  It’s her unique way of taking a vow and promising to put her own wants and desires above others for once.

The strongest comedic elements in the film stem from the fact Rosa hasn’t told her close family about the idea.  They’ve assembled at a seaside Spanish town thinking she’s marrying some guy they’ve vaguely heard about.  Rosa keeps the “surprise” to herself and plans to reveal it all at the small, intimate ceremony but chaos ensues when her father, brother and sister start meddling the planning and things quickly spiral out of Rosa’s control.

It’s an offbeat idea for a movie and Rosa’s Wedding succeeds because of the beautiful lead performance of Candela Peña.  The early scenes do a great job depicting the reasons behind Rosa’s frustrations (her siblings are wonderfully obnoxious) while also showing she isn’t perfect herself (illustrated by the semi-fractured relationship with her grown daughter).  Peña brings the right mix of confidence and insecurity to the character and, while we may not want to do the same thing ourselves, we appreciate why she’s taking such an unexpected step in her life.

Perhaps there’s not quite enough material to last the full 97 minutes and a few elements stretch more into farce that warm-hearted comedy but Rosa’s Wedding is easy to like.  Others agree given the film earned 8 Goya Award nominations (the Spanish equivalent the Oscars) including a nod for best picture.  Check it out.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 01 August 2021

Twenty years ago, Disney curiously greenlit an action blockbuster based on an amusement ride at its Los Angeles theme park.  The film was Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl and, in addition to earning Johnny Depp his first Academy Award nomination, it spawned a franchise that grossed more than $4.5 billion USD at the global box-office.  It’s easy to be cynical but it shows that when it comes to screenwriting, inspiration can come from unusual places.

Studio executives will be hoping that history repeats.  Jungle Cruise was a boat ride that formed part of the first Disney amusement park when it opened back in 1955.  It’s gone through a few changes over the years but the ride still exists today.  A script was written, Dwayne Johnson came on board as a producer, the directing reigns were handed to Spaniard Jaume Collet-Serra (Orphan, Unknown), and the finished product can now be seen in cinemas… and on streaming due to COVID-19.

Jungle Cruise is a mix of realistic fiction and supernatural oddities.  It’s set in the year 1916 and is centred on Dr Lily Houghton (Blunt), a gifted British scientist who cannot gain the respect of her peers simply because she is a woman.  There’s an early scene where Lily’s younger brother (Whitehall) must present research on her behalf to The Royal Society in London because women were not allowed to be members (the first wasn’t admitted until 1945).

Determined to prove her worth, she sets off to Brazil with hopes of locating a long-lost magical tree with “petals that can heal all”.  Needing transportation to navigate the windy, dangerous Amazon River, she teams up with a joke-loving steamboat owner, Frank (Johnson), to go in search of the plant.  On their tail is an unpleasant German (Plemons) who wants the tree for himself and sees it as critical to his country’s success in winning World War I.

Many will be drawing comparisons with the likes of Indiana Jones and Pirates of the Caribbean.  Jungle Cruise has been crafted as a light-hearted family escapade with lots of running, chasing and evading.  Despite the best intentions, it comes across as a very unadventurous adventure.  There’s almost too much going on.  There’s no time to soak in any tension (we can blame the feeble villains for that) and, while our strong-willed heroes love a chat, they come across as one-note, empty and uninteresting.  It’s just the same repetitive stuff throughout (e.g. jokes about Lily’s “posh” brother being out of his element).

Coming across more as a hokey throwback to films from a prior era, Jungle Cruise might schmooze people with the casting of Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt but it misses the opportunity to be something fun, original and contemporary.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 12 July 2021

Cinema has always been a mix of art and commerce.  There are actors, filmmakers and craftsmen who are willing to work for free (or close to it) if it gives them creative control and the chance to make something distinctive, meaningful and personal.  On the flip side, there are big Hollywood studios who are focused largely on box-office figures and who will use their influence to make casting and script decisions that maximise ticket sales.

Space Jam: A New Legacy feels like 99% commerce and 1% art.  The lead actor has been chosen because he’s one of the most accomplished basketball players of all time and not because he’s a scene-stealing, nuanced actor.  The endless film references (everything from Austin Powers to Casablanca) have been chosen because they promote existing Warner Bros. product and not because they’re the right fit for the narrative.  The movie itself has only been made because the 1996 original was financially successful and not because there were unresolved subplots that required resolution.

The storyline borrows from formulas utilised in the last film.  NBA star LeBron James (in what I hope isn’t a reflection of reality) portrays himself as a close-minded dad trying to push a basketball career on his not-so-willing son, Dom (Joe).  When he witnesses his son mucking around on the backyard court of their multi-million dollar home, a deadpan LeBron is quick to pull him into line and offer groan-inducing motivational quotes like “you can’t be great without putting in the work.”  For whatever reason, LeBron can’t see that his son is a computer programming prodigy who would rather make video games about basketball than play it professionally himself.

Anyway, through a convoluted series of events involving Warner Bros. executives, LeBron and Dom find themselves sucked into a Tron-like computer world run by the villainous Al-G Rhythm (Cheadle).  He divides the pair and sets up a basketball game that will decide the future of the human race.  LeBron and the Looney Tunes, headlined by Buggs Bunny, take on some of the best players in the world in the Dom-designed video game.  If they’re not in front when the final buzzer sounds, LeBron, his family, and millions of spectators (bizarrely including Pennywise from It) will be trapped in the computer world forever.

Don Cheadle isn’t too bad as the villain and the special effects crew deserve credit for seamlessly blending the animation and live action.  That’s all I have in terms of positives.  The dull, simplistic script limits any potential for this film to become something more fun, more interesting.  The only message (“just be yourself”) is rammed home ad nauseam and the climactic basketball game, with a curiously low scoring final quarter, drags on forever (it’s close to half the entire movie).

The original Space Jam is looked back at fondly but I don’t think this inferior sequel will be held in the same regard.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 24 July 2021

On the recommendation of the resort manager, two families and two other couples visit a beautiful beach surrounded by an unusual rock formation.  It takes a while for them to realise what’s going on but there’s something funky about the beach and it’s causing them to age at a rate of roughly 2 years per hour.  Unless they can find a way to escape (all obvious exits prove fruitless), they’ll have all died of old age in just over a day.

It’s an intriguing setup and it’s no surprise to see it come from the mind of Oscar nominated director M. Night Shyamalan, the man responsible for thrillers including The Sixth Sense, The Visit and Split.  It won’t take long for audiences to be asking themselves the same questions – what’s with the beach, who’s responsible, why have these people been chosen, and will they escape?  If you’ve seen the trailers and TV advertisements, you’ll probably have these questions front of mind before the opening titles.

I didn’t mind the punchline (which I won’t spoil) but everything else is frustrating and tedious.  If you’re going to make me wait 90 minutes for a worthy finale, at least give me interesting characters to care about in the lead up.  That’s the biggest issue with Old.  These people are so bland and boring to listen to.  Fleeting backstories are established (e.g. a marriage on the rocks) that end up having no relevance and, given their respective professions, it’s surprising how clueless and clouded they are when it comes to good decision making.

The film’s other major problem is making the idea look convincing on screen.  As the children age noticeably, Shyamalan tries to be creative with obscured camera angles (so as to avoid casting 10 different people in the same role) but it becomes a distraction.  It’s also hard to understand the super-fast ageing process.  I can see the physical transformation but how are these people, particularly the kids, growing so quickly in terms of knowledge and maturity without life experience?  The more you think about it, the less sense it starts to make.

Shyamalan will continue to make interesting films but when his career is said and done, this is will be forgettable entry on his resume.